Archive for July, 2002
I think tax returns a re a good idea, and i think dvds and cd’s are a good way to use ones tax return, I myself have bought a cold chisel album, in facts its a best of, 2 discs over 30 songs, awsome.
last day in hazelbrook today, i can make that final journey home. so i think i will. goodbye hazelbrook.
bring back daryl
It would be fun to be a writer not like a boring old guy with abeird who smokes a pipe and writes books about the thirld world war and his life as a child in west london during the bombing but the sort of writer that has a funny column in the newspaper and good weekend magazine, you know a funny write the sort of perosn who would get to go on the panel and rove and the fat, and the highlight would be Hey Hey its Saturday, but alas that pinnacle in a stars carrer will never come, bastards at channel nine ruined it for everyone, There is now no peak to anyones career, no colour, everything is grey and smered with the repatitious travels we all take, there is no more releif, no more hope the heart has stopped beating, the bus has moved away, lights are constantly flickering, the escalators are broken, the glass is half empty, the world is doomed, the batteries are flat, I’m not bitter. And yes it has been a good 3 years since the incredible talentet icon of variety tv my daryl sommers graced us with his pressense it has been 3 years since the hat on a stil made our belly wobble fomr side to side, it has been three years since red gonged the attempts at fame by everyday Aussies But 3 years of death to our nation is tough and i have every right to be upset, and so do you stop hiding it, you know deep down you have been hideing these feelings these feelings of hurt, rejection and fear, but release them, get them out in the open dont feel ashamed, feel free to shout
“daryl is my hero”
“gong him red”
“I miss you hey hey”
this message was brought to you by the Hey Hey its sad-day commision.
The Seductive set, part 2
today wasnt as bad as yesterday all though i still have been seduced by the telvision infact i watched the entire afl match betwwen the sydney swans and port adelaide, it was good game, even thoughtnthe swans are out of any final contention they still played a great defence game, with hall putting the swans in front in the last minute, but then port came back ti win the game with a goal after the siren, very close game, But yes i also got out into the world today, i manages to un hook the the arms of the television and leave the house, off to katoomba i went wtih my auntie and 2 cousins, and no trip to katoomba is comlete without a trip to clints crazy bargins, it seems that country towns always have a clints and they always have this magnatism to them like tv that your just not quite sure what it is but you cant help but go in and explore,ah i love it, $5 car stereos, fluro green fly swatters, plastic guns, out of date chips and lollypops, clints is an australian legact that will continue for years, its part of our culture its part of our dream as a nation, who needs a coat of arms, we have clints, why dont we have a big clints logo “Clints Crazy Bargins, The Australian Dream”
where else can you buy green gum boots for $2.50.
ah the serinity,
but yes after returning home it was back into the television, i’m not going to fight it, i cant win, its best for us all if i just sink back into the chair and clutch the remote for the rest of my life
maybe the advocate would let my write for them ?
The Seductive set
If there was one thing that i have learnt from living here alone, it is that television can take control of your life, the past 2 weeks i have watched tv all day all night everyday evry night,there is some atraction to it that i cant control, its like we have these hidden hormones that secrety are in love with television and the telvision itself puts out some kind of seductive smell that lures our tv hormones to it, Its really weird becasue i’m finding myself watching tennis, and rugby league and afl and today i even watched scotland verses Australia in indoor bowels, it was a great little tournoment, in the end the australian where just too strong for the scotts they where on the line every time and could curve the ball with accute accuricy, The scotts where very gracious in defeat, it was quite a jovial atmosphere at the competition held in queenslands premiere bowels complex,
And tonight the rugby union held in chrischurch the bledislo cup, wallibes v’ allblacks, in condidtions that really helped the all blacks even though the wallabies had been trainaing in coffs harbour with the sprinklers on during trainang to simulate the icy and wet conditions. the wallabies just couldnt find the gap, the all blacks came out to wint the match which is a best of 3 the final will be held in sydney it is also the beginging of the tri nations series between australia, new zealand and south africa.
did you know that paul reifel the former australian cricket champion is going through a fast track course to become a cricket umpire filling the gap which has been in austrlain cricket for some tie now and hopefuly it will encourage other ex players to do the same.
all this useless information that this somewhat attractive television has fed me, why, why am i watching the big arvo, its a second rate kids show set in a bus with an overacting host who makes sure he is the centre, he is the focal point leaving all the other poor co hosts to just frown and continue the show in the knowledge that everything they do will be upstaged by this charasmatic young wnnabe,
not to mention telemall shopping, now i think everyone would agree that telemall shopping is tha apitomy of bad television, it is a 2 hour commerical that has comerical breaks which advertise the products in the commercial whic are in a commerical whic are on commerical television, targeting the commerical market of conumers,bla bla bla…televiosn is in control, you cant help but turn it on and watch, why am i sitting up learning about the super chef that slices dices fries, grills cleans up spills, washes the car, and sets the table, grate cheese, and finds your keys, tones your abs, and hales you cabs, that six pack you always wanted is just around the corner, along with this interductory offer of the sclicer dicer carpet cleaner for just 56 easy payments of $56.95 and if you call in the next five minutes i will raise my voice and repeat every single feature of the slicer dicer 2000 over 7 times and i will aslo show you before and after shots of the cucumber that we sliced and diced on the ab builer 5000 which fold neatly and fits under your bed for easy storage, so next time you have to cook the kids dinner all you have to do is pull the ab builder 5000 out from uinder your bed and it will slice the carrots, bake the pork and set the table all in the comfort of your own home, be anew person just call 0055 HELPME, but wait theres more………………………
as you can see the televison has taken control i now find myself staying awake to watch the late show with david letterman, why i dont know i dont understand his jokes, but inside i;m drawn to it like it was cherry rip ice cream, or diest coke “flirt with something different” whats with that slogan ? Advertising is filling my head i’m like a walking, well not really walking, i cant get out of this chair away from the television, but i’m like a walking vault of advertismensts, yes indeed “oh what a feeling” who can resits “drive away no more to pay” i cant drive or afford a car but i still cant resit “lowest proces everyday“.”paul has it all’ and thay are “things that make me go mmmmmmmmm” i cant stop i need to “think outside the square i live in” i need to “make it happen” i really do “seriously” “the one to watch” is driving me mad and “my abc” is just as bad. they try and tell me “its head an shoulders above the rest” but really wake up and “if pain persists please see your doctor“
oh good its nearly time for Sports Tonight with Bill Woods gotta go……..
i did do my washing and even hung it all out on the line dodging all the land mines in the lawn set down for me by sox, what a thoughful doggy, i did the dishes aswell, it wsnt too bad, although the water was very hot.
I bought a new cd yesterday on the internet and it arrived today, good old chaos music i like internet shopping.
As keiren Perkins would say “kick it to me”. Why? you may ask, well as john howard would say “i’m not at liberty to speak on that matter” so lets begin.
Why have i called this blog howies halfpipe well there is no in depth reason its sound cool, it flows it is a bit of alliteration, i learnt all about alliteration back in school with the crazy mrs beantly alliteration was one of her favourite things to tlak about, that and the book animal farm i have a feeling its the only book she has ever read but yes alliteration was one of her most repeated things to talk to my class about and there is only so much “the tall terrific truck turned the tables of time “that you can take, now they wherent her exact words but its gotta be close. so thats a not very good explination of howies halfpipe, of coure the howie part of it is quite self explanitory, i dont think i would feel the same attachment if i had called it Harolds Halfpipe or Henrys halfpipe, they both still use the wonderful language tool of alliteration but they dont have my name in them, and its all about me. american arnt very funny, this is my observation of the day.
i have found my new favourite website
These blog things are good, its good being able to just write anything i want,i mean i dont have to get all deep and meaningful i can write about whatever i want i can open up my crazy mind to the rest of the world without giving away the sloppy stuff, its great, i think everyone should have a blog,
Today I’m setting out with goals things i need to acheive before its bed time again, the pile of dirty dishes has been stacking up for about a week now and its time i washed them not becasue of health reasons but a much bigger issue in that there is no bowels left. Its one of those things that i have been putting off, normally i jump at the chance of doing a bit of dish washing becasue i get to create a piece of art in the final stacking stages, but there is something about not being at home that just makes the thought of doing the dishes so boring and long and tedious, but i must be strong. One of the other things i must do is wash my clothes again, now this inst so traumatic for me as all i really have to do is chuck al my clothes in a big white box and press a few buttons, ahh the joys of our machine world, technology is amazing, back in my day we had to wash our clothes on a rock 5 miles from the town, and times where so bad i had to walk bare foot, and this was before the invention of soap, we used to just rub the clothes with a river stone and where only aloud to use one pint of water a week, with that one pint we had to wash ourselves and do the cooking with not just wash clothes…….you little whipper snappers have it so darn easy.
so yes after i have done those 2 things i’m not quite sure what i will do with the rest of my day, i should do some capturing and get cracking on my showreel.
This morning was one of those daye where you just dont want to get out of bed, but when it finnaly got to 3:15 i decided that it was probably wise to get out of bed, after getting out of bed i realised why i had stayed in bed, its cold, hazelbrook is one of those places where every day you just want to get a blanket and sit down and watch the midday movie wearing a tracksuit, drinking a hot cup od tee, and making your toilet stops as brief as possible. but alas i coulndt rug up and watch the midday movie, by the time i had finnished my shower and sat down it was 3:35, the midday movie had well and truely gone, i had no point to my day now, all hope of having a good day had been thrown out the window into the frosty air outside.
Then to my shock my phone went “beep beep”"beep beep” yes i had a message i had a purpose again, sure i dint have the midday movie but it seemed i had a friend i could rug up in the blanket and my tackpants and a jumper and read this message……..after reading the message i realised that i was right earlier on that there was no hope for this day, i had been given a mission, a mission that involved me needing to go outside and not just out side oh no, i had to go on a trek an overland adventure to the hub of this town, the hazelbrook post office, standing tall above the iceickles. The walk to the post office was long and demanding, over ricks and through canyons, around land mines and under projectiles, the local council needs to do some repais on the foot path. did i mention it was cold, yes not just cold but it was windy too, every step i took the wind would whip at my face harder and harder, good thing i have an excess of facial hair or it would have hurt.
Reaching the peak of hazelbrook was a mighty feat and i was proud i stood tall, i had conquered the footpath of death, and laughed in the face of the wind. I was here i was a hero, i glanced across to the iga supermarket where i saw a sign that told me hazelbrook is 674 metres above see level, nice bit of trivia i suppose.
after posting the parcel i walked home.
sorry about my spelling and typeing, but it aint going to get any better
well this is my first pot on this bloggy thing, I wonder how long this will last. I give it 2 weeks then i will forget about it or just not be bothered to write more, i cant use the excuse of not having enought time but i can use the excuse of “just cant be bothered”, what am i saying if i want to stop i will and if i get lazy thats fine i’m alowed to this is my bloody blog, you can presure me all you want but when push comes to shove i’m the big boss, i’m the chairman, i’m the big kahuna, this blog is like my corporation and i’m the guy who wears a suit and sits up in a big office overlooking the harbour and i fi i feel that the company is slowing down and that profits are down it is in my power to close branches across the country, and belive you me this blog is the first branch to shut….yes indeed you punters will have to move to someone elses blog, i dont care about the customer, if your upset thats your own fault for geting emotionally attached to the blog, For me its all about market success, you know healthey shares, a good annual profit that sort of thing.
Any resembelance to Australian banks is purely coinsadental and fictional.