howie’s halfpipe

I really hat making decisions, I would say that making decision in probably my least favourite thing on the whole world, I always worry about disappointing myself by making the wrong decision, and often find myself in decision making traps where none of the available options seem to be pleasant, it starts out with a need to make a decision, one that will be the right decision normally the easier one or the most fun one is the one I like to pick, but then I feel bad for not picking the other choice, or realise that the choice I made is bad and than I feel guilty for making that decision when I should have decided on the other thing, and now I have to make another decision of whether to make a another decision to try and solve the mishaps of the first decision, and I find myself in these vicious decision making circles that spiral into harder and harder decisions, when making a decision there always seems to be more negatives than positive things that sway my decision making process.
I cant handle even the most simple of decisions,
A way that I have found to ease the process is to put in a lot of effort to make a certain descision and then once that descision is made that will be the way I do things forever, not doing it any other way because I now don’t have the need to. An example of this is what I eat at Mcdonalds, I have narrowed my selection down to nuggets or McChicken, not because I don’t like the other stuff on the menu but so that I don’t have to put myself through the torment of decision making, I stull have to decide nugget or mcchicken but its not as bad because I don’t have to even think about the rest of the menu.
I think its also one of the reasons I drink so much coke, not just because I love the taste or whatever but also because it means every time I feel like a fizzy drink I don’t have to make any decisions.
I could spend hours standing in front of a fridge trying to work out which drink to get.

Today after work I went to dick smith to look at buying some LED’s and little circuits and stuff to build a custom made light for a Frisbee, and I spent 30 minutes on the floor in dick smith looking at the different types of LED’s picking them up and looking at them and deciding yes I do want them, then put them back and get different ones and then put them back and get different ones, in the end I gave up and stood up and went and looked at gaffa tape, and I picked up a roll and walked to the front of the shop and then decided I didn’t want gaffa anymore and went back to the LED section then back to the gaffa tape section then to the torches, and in the end I was walking around like a headless chicken picking stuff up and putting it back. It drives me nuts I cant stand decisions.
In the end I bought a rill of gaffa tape,
I don’t need gaffa tape.
That’s the other problem with decisions, I end up buying thing I don’t need, like stationary I always look at stationary in shops and by pens and stuff, I never had any intention of going into the shop and buying some stationary but I do.

I think habits have been a life saver for me, with habits I don’t need to make any decisions I just do something because it’s the way I have always done it. Part of my OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder).
Believe it or not I think its my OCD that keeps me sane.

Habits and routine are very good but unforntuantly they cant be in all parts of my life,
The reason I write all this is because I seem to be at a point right now in my life that I dint seem to be in a little while ago, that I need to make some decisions,
Biggish decisions,
All decisions are hard, even the smallest things so ones that actually will affect my life and lives of the people around me cause me even more stress.