howie’s halfpipe

I went for my first ever physio appointment tonight.
I left work a bit early only to spend the next 15 minutes waiting on a cancelled train. Eventually cityrail pulled out a late running service and told me to change platforms.

I walked very fast to the Physio place, and got there about 5 mins late, but the lady was very nice.

I filled out some forms, and sat waiting while she broke some guys spine in the cubical next to me. Once he was dead it was my turn.
She told me to take my shirt off, I thought she was then going to pull out some special surgical glasses to stop the glare from my fluorescent stomach. But she didn’t. I had to twist and turn and stuff while she poked and prodded and squeezed until I thought to myself “ok that hurts now”.
Then it was lay on the table time.
The lady did more poking and prodding and squeezing, some how magnetically finding all the places that hurt the most. Then she put a nice hot pack on my back and walked off.
She came back about 15 minutes later and took it off then prodded and poked and squeezed some more. Saying things like “oh your muscles are very tight” and “oh all you muscles are so tense and tight”. Then she pulled in a mini power station on wheels and began to hook me up, with little sticky things on my back and neck.
She said ok now I’m going to turn the power up and you should feel a tingle, when it starts to hurt tell me. She began to turn the dial, the volts starting passing through my body I reached the hurting stage and said “ah” she replied with good, now I’ll leave it there for a few minutes. She walked off again, probably to drag out the guy who was in there before me. On returning she turned it up more. Why not just tell me to put my tongue in a toaster, it would have done the same job.
So there I was laying on a table having convulsions from 40,000,000,000 volts of power rushing through my body.
After the machine stopped, I stood up and walked around, I could still feel the tingles from the mini power station. In fact I can still feel it a bit.
I reckon I could power half of Sydney right now, just shove an extension cord down my throat and off you go.

I’m going back on monday