howie’s halfpipe

this Glass box in the photo is a public toilet in london outside the tate gallery. It is made out of one way mirrored glass.

going into Westfield is like returning to the womb.
The familiar sounds and comfortable lighting. I feel like laying on the floor of the food court and rolling into the foetal position.

Ok maybe that analogy is inst the best, but I do live Westfield in that this is gross but I love it kind of way.

Tom shouted me lunch in the foodcourt today we had butter chicken and cheese naan and a buddy of course. The foodcourt is a good place to sit and eat and talk. I think mostly because it has food and chairs.

Last night Jenny bought me a replacment frozen meal.

God bless that girl

It is unwritten law that a man does not to try and steal another mans girlfriend.
It is unwritten law that you don’t wear someone elses underpants
It is unwritten law that coke is better than pepsi
IT IS AN UNWRITTEN LAW THAT YOU DON’T EAT ANOTHER MANS McCAIN CHICKEN PARMIGANA FROZEN MEAL

That’s right, someone out of blatant disrespect has gone to our freezer at home and helped themselves to what is considered ones most prized possession. That frozen meal was rightfully mine! That frozen meal was not for public consumption. It was strictly for personal recreational use.

It wasn’t anyone who lives in the house.
It wasn’t sam (who found himself a suspect)

WHO WAS IT?

Let me speak the 8th commandment

“You shall not steal”

I say to you, be like Zacchaeus, pay back 4 times the original. I expect 4 Chicken Ptarmigans in the freezer by the end of the week. Or I’m taking it to the law.

I know the NSW Police department has a special task force set up for this ruthless act of selfishness.
“Operation Crime-Chill putting the freeze on stolen meals”

I cant explain the pit of weeping sadness I am now encompassed by at the loss of such a significant asset.

Come back my little box of hope.

having ads is fun.

I get about 6 cents (US) per click through.

so far i have made $1.30 (US)

the waveaid dvd has been pushed back to june 14

Well you have probably noticed that my blog now has an advertisment at the top and another one on the side in the menu bar.
And you are probably thinking. “what the hell is he doing?”

Well you see i’m not a very rich man, so any little bits of money i can get are very welcome. So i signed up to get ads from google and i get paid on the amount of click throughs.

I have tried to get the as little intrusive as i can. And the ads will be tailoured to the content of my site, so it shouldnt be too bad.

I’m sorry if it makes you angry, but you’ll live!

“i’m not a girl”

Jenny

the following are questions sentby mail to the sydney olympic comitee before the 2000 games.

I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It’s a kind of bear and lives in trees.

Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow?

Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street?

Will I be able to speak English most places I go?

It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise.

Which direction should I drive - Perth to Darwin or Darwin to Perth - to avoid driving with the sun in my eyes?

I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? [seven thousand miles]

Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia?

My client wants to take a steel pooper-scooper into Australia. Will you let her in the country?

Do the camels in Australia have one hump or two?

Can I bring cutlery into Australia?

Do you have perfume in Australia?

Do tents exist in Australia?

Can I wear high heels in Australia?

Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population?

Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia?

Can I drive to the Great Barrier Reef?

Are there killer bees in Australia?

Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?

Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round?

Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. [there are no rattlesnakes in Australia]

Which direction is North in Australia?

Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule?

I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia?

Are there places in Australia where you can make love outdoors?

I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? [Kings Cross is the Red Light District]

Its been said in the past that I just copy tom and want to be like him.

Well I’m going to prove that wrong by stealing his idea of writing a post about “when he grows up”. And do the same for me.

When I grow up I would like to be:

A Famous Comedian

I would like to be a zany funny guy who spends his days traveling the world appearing on late night variety television shows doing celebrity interviews. And the odd stand up gig. But the difference between me and most other comedians is that I would not appear in b grade films to try and make a buck on the side,

A Late night TV host

“Howie live and unplugged” A late night variety show featuring celebrity interviews, intimate acoustic songs by touring artist and funny sketches and competitions. Of course I would be the host.

A Toll Booth Operator

I think I would actually enjoy sitting in a little booth, especially if it had a boom gate, oh boy boom gates are fun.

A train driver

I have wanted to be a train driver ever since I wsa a little lad, and its still a job that I would love. But also a job that I will never do. But how fun it would be. Toot toot.

A light rail / tram driver.

Maybe even more fun that bening a train driver would be a tram driver or a light rail driver. Especially the new trams and light rails around the place. They are smooth and new and shiny and have lots of buttons.

Singer / Guitarist

A singer / guitarist in a big 7 piece band with an organ and brass and stuff. Bit of a counting crows sound mixed with big band jazz. I could wear cool t-shirts and stand in the middle of the stage. And whenever I do interviews I could wear sunglasses. I could have a special pair of sunglasses just for interviews,

Elevator Operator

Wear one of those cool uniforms with the big shiny buttons and operate a lift in a big tall city building. Welcoming the people as they got in and taking them to their desired floor.

Sweat shop worker in china

Just so I make more money than I currently make.

Coach Captain

Not a bus driver, oh no! a coach captain, driving big 5 star coaches around Australia that would be fun. Especially the bit when you get to open the door and it makes the pshhhhhhhhhhhttt noise.

Roller Coaster Operator

Again sitting in a little booth to the side of the roller coaster station. Pressing buttons that make the roller coaster go and stop. Going for rides by myself after the park had closed.

Manly Ferry Captain

I want to have ago at parking one of these babies. Toot the big horn and sail through the harbour making all the little boats get out of the way.

Professional Blogger

Get paid to sit around writing in my blog

Own Hornsby Odeon Cinema

Own the cinema and turn it into a music venue, with a bar and little café and good live music that you listen to sitting around on couches.

a few people have said to me lately that my blog is boring these days.

to these people is say this

poo

Here endith thy holiday.

Only one more day of holidays left then its back to work.

Tonight jenny and jo and sam and myself went to a benefit dinner for a little fella with autism. It was a bit of a strange evening but quite enjoyable. There was probably 200 people there. 196 of them would have been Lebanese the other 4 where us. That’s not a bad thing just quite interesting. We had food and listened to some guy sing. It did feel a bit like a mafia family gathering.

Afterwards jenny and I went to maccas for oreo mcflurry’s..

Tomorrow we are off to south head for a final outing in our holidays. I have never been to south head or the gap should be fun.

Hopefully on Monday I wont have too many emails to read, and too much to catch up on. I have not done anything to do with work in the past 2 weeks and its been really refreshing. One more day then I’ll get back into it and read and reply to emails and make phone calls and get back into the routine of work.

I”m bored.

Well i know its getting anoying for me and probably you too.

Soon my comments will be fixed. Soon order will be restored.

Currently i am using wordpress to power my blog, but one of the files has managed to get corrupted. So David the IT man is going to help me upgrade to a newer version of wordpress and hopfully solve all commenting problems and also make it so spammers have no chance of leaving comments or trackbacks.

so yay,

eta about two weeks.