Archive for October, 2005
La máquina de hilar es muy hermosa
I typed “Jenny is very Beautiful” into babel fish and asked it to translate that to spanish.
Sometimes things get lost in translation, go to babel fish and copy the spanish in and ask it to translate it to english.
just in case you were wondeing what my desk at work looks like
for some reason my blog has been down all morning, but now its back. I think smartyhost must have broke themselves. I sent them some emails asking why my site was down, they replied telling me that iwas all fin and fixed. So then i had to email them again and say the same thing becasue it wasnt fixed. But now finally it is.
I could have lost my audience becasue of smarty host, all 2 of you.
Tom and i went to Sal’s party tongiht, and it was a lot of fun. The party had a 1920′s theme so as you can see tom and i dressed up. I often get scared at parties becasue i dont know many people and i get nervous and the like. anyway i ended up being brave and working some party skills. I was talking to this girl and we talked for a while and there was no one else in close proximety to us. I needed to fart and i decided in my head that it would disperse before it would reach this girl. Anyway i farted and boy oh boy it stunk. But not only did it stink but it was so obvious is was me seeing asn there was no one else close, and it lingered, it caused quite a large awkward silence in our conversation. Very embarrising. Eventually our conversation fizzled and i made a b-line for the drinks table and someone new to talk to.
An old lady in coles today thought i was 16.
damn shaving, i’m a big boy i’m not 16
The front page of the advocate “Terror Alert”
Yes Hornsby has had a terror alert, as I mentioned on Monday. Turns out it was a suitcase that was sitting outside hungry jacks and had wires hanging out of it.
After all the police tape, ambulance, fire and hype the wires were connected to headphones for the persons discman.
Still good to be alert, not alarmed.
strawberry milk with that nice soft pink tinge obviously comes from metresexual cows.
I thought of a tagline of Al Qaeda this morning while i was on the toilet.
“Our service is the bomb!”
I too got caught up in the excitment of itunes yesterday and began my downloading relationship with the online music store.
Oh its just so good.
the dogs at the tax office sent me my tax return today.
i have to pay them $426.80
bunch of freakin dogs
there were reports of a bomb scare in Hornsby today. At first I heard from someone that it was in Westfield and that some of the entrances to the field of dreams were closed. Then someone sent me a sms saying that there was a bomb threat in the mall area, then my main man tom live from the scene called me to say that something was going down in hungry jacks. Now why on earth would someone threaten to bomb hungry jacks. Ok I know they have really slow service in the hornsby takeaway, and yes there is no one over the age of 11 working there, or maybe it’s the extremely bad post mix coke. Whatever it is it doesn’t warrant a bomb threat.
I can think of many more places in Hornsby that warrant bomb threats. Infact I have compiled a list of places that would be more beneficial of a bomb threat.
So here are my top five.
5. Someone’s letter box – I never got to blow up a letter box when I was younger.
4. Mick Gallagher’s van – not with him in it.
3. Hornsby Odeon Cinema – the screen is tiny, the seats smell like wee.
2. My office – ahhh I can sleep in for the rest of my life
And the number 1 is this monstrosity of a water feature.
Man can someone please blow it up or bulldoze it or throw rocks at it or something. Its so ugly.
Dear ASIO web trackers,
In case you are tracking my sight to gain information about my terrorist activities I would like to make the following statement.
It is true that I have not shaven in a while and have thus produced quite a thick beard. This beard is not in any way a reasons to suspect me as being a terrorist. I’m not a terrorist, I’m just lazy and cant be bothered shaving.
It may also come to your attention that I in the last 24 hours have been off on a camp at a rural property in western NSW. And yes several hours of the camp were spent I an underground cave system. I would like to point out that this camp was not a training camp for any militant group but merely a youth camp.
And just in case you have bugged me and have been listening to my conversations in the last few days, it is true that I was laughing at a joke told in Arabic, but I do not understand Arabic I merely laughed because the person who told the joke (who does speak Arabic but is not a terrorist) said in English before telling the joke “here is the joke in Arabic”.
So I conclude this letter by saying that yes I have a beard and yes I laugh at Arabic jokes and yes I was down in caves on a camp, but I am not a terrorist and I don’t know ant terrorist and I don’t agree with terrorism.
I would also like to add that if I do get detained, I don’t like sleeping on the top bunk.
what a day.
You see I have been a bit clogged the past few days and the pain was beginning to build up. This morning I got up at 7:02 so that I could catch a train and go see jenny at her house to surprise her for her birthday. But as I awoke there was a quite strong pain in my bowels. I tried to relieve the pain but with no luck. I figured maybe its because I haven’t been taking enough metamucal, s I had a bigger dose today and I think that may have been the downfall of my day.
I made it to jennys house still in pain, I tried there to release some of the pressure but no luck. Then when we got to work I gave it one last try, I pushed like there was no tomorrow, eventually it paid off I got out quite a bit then went back to my desk.
It was then it all began, I had new pains like was going to be sick kind of pains so back ot the bathroom about 3 times I went, this time the effects were explosive, from one end of the scale to the other in less than one hour. And that happened a few times throughout the day as well as feeling quite ill. So a good day all round. Now I have a headache and I’m damn tired so its off to bed soon as I have a 5:30am wake up tomorrow.
Ah the joys of my body.
Work experience boy – “I’ll give you $20 if you can fit your make poverty history band over your head”
Howie – “challenge accepted”
It really hurt, infact my head was throbbing and i also had yellow splodges in my vision for a few minutes after. But i did it.
I have been thinking about death a bit lately and i’m really not looking forward to some of my family members dying. No one in my family or extended family has died since i have been alive. But the next few years look to change that.
I dont like death. I dont want to cry.
roses are Red,
Violets are blue,
No time for blogging
casue i need to poo