howie’s halfpipe

Once upon a time there was a young man named howie. He was a strapping young man who had recently found himself an exquisite wife and they where gallivanting across the countryside in south west WA.
One early evening howie went out into the back garden to chop some wood so that he could make a fire to ensure that his new wife was warm and comfortable.
Being the smart thinking, wise old chap that he was, he decided that he didn’t need shoes on, “real men don’t wear shoes when they chop wood” he thought to himself.
He proceeded to the shed to get the axe.
Boy oh boy was he making his wife proud, chopping wood right left and centre, big swings over his shoulder mixed with gentle little taps to ensure there where several different sized pieces of wood.
After there was enough wood chopped he began to use his upper body strength and carry the chopped up wood to the house. On finishing up he returned the axe to the shed and closed the big metal sliding door. It wouldn’t shut properly, he put some weight into it, still not shutting. Howie then put as much force on the door as he could physically muster, not paying attention to the fact that his right foot had moved extremely close to the door.
If you don’t like blood now is a good time to turn away as what happened next casues the spurting of liquid red stuff to cover howies big toe and drip down through to the concrete and across the grass.
You see he shut the shed door onto his big toe!
Oh it hurt!
A nice deep slice into the top of his right big toe, being in a holiday house the house was not equipped with the normal first aid resources. No detol or bandages or swabs.
Howie hat to improvise, alchaolic hand wash was the result, 66% ethanol. Probably hurt more putting that stuff on than it did slamming a giant shed door on the toe.
The moral to this story is its fine to chop wood in barefeet as long as you don’t keep your axe in a friggin big shed with a stupid damn hard to close door.