the howie

the problem is that my office only has 1 ply toilet paper at the moment!

Its council clean up next weekend and all our neighbours began to build mountains of whitegoods and broken chairs on the verge.

So we decided to join the party.

We have a big fridge in our kitchen that doesnt work so i went and got my tool box and began removing the doors of the fridge. The freezer door was the first to come off, after first falling and smacking me in the knee cap. Eventually i got the the other door off and all the shelves out.

Then it was time to get the fridge from the kitchen, out through the front door , down the front steps then up the driveway and onto the verge.

Easier said than done. Myself and jenny combined is probably the strength of half a normal man. We put the fridge on a trolley and i moved it towards the front door with my back hunched over like a horse shoe with the fridge towering over my head just balance on the trolley.

after some careful moves we got the fridge onto the front verandah. then it seemd using the trolley taking it down the stairs was gonna be a bit hard with my lack of muscles. And seeing as we dont care ab out the fridge we just tipped on on its side and pushed it down the stairs.

then back onto the trolley to take it on the patrh round the front of the house towards the driveway. It was on the trolley for about 5 seconds of the journey. Then it began to tip off the side of the trolley, it felt like it was in slow motion but really. Bang! Wallap! the fridge was in the bushes. We rolled it out of the shrubbery to unveil the massive fridge shaped hole in the bushes.

its a big damn fridge.

anyway eventually we got it up the driveway onto the grass out the front.

no need to tell anyone about the scatches on the driveway, the big hole in the shrubbery or the chunk missing out of my knee.

a job well done.

I watched ‘kenny’ again tonight.

What a brilliant film, so many sweet one liners, and cleverly done. Oh i love it.

poo jokes on the big screen what more could you want??????

Hollywood, Bollywood and now

Dollywood

I often come across this problem when i have a cold.

When i blow my nose due to the increased volume of snot, it doesnt all make it to the tissue.

Not becasue i have bad nasal aim, but becasue a majority of the green liquid discharge gets tangled in my mostache.

I then need another tissue to clean the hairy patch.

This game has been floating around MySpace and I thought it was fun I’m giving it a go.

RULES:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. Write down the name of the song.

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
Ho far have we really come (powderfinger)

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Unreliable (the whitlams)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Cecilia (simon and garfunkel)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
In the summertime (mungo jerry)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
It never rains (dire straits)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Never tear us apart (inxs)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Scar (missy Higgins)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Good people (jack Johnson)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Lovers and sinners (dallas crane)

WHAT IS 2+2? - That’s a stupid question
Figured you our (nickleback)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BESTIE? –
You’ve got a friend (Michael Jackson)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Cannonball (Damien rice)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Dumb things (paul Kelly)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Bootylicious (destinys child) hahahahahaha

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Higher (hillsong)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Hangin around (counting crows)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Stir it up (the wailers)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
The saints are coming (green day + U2)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Under the boardwalk (high tide)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
The heart of life (john mayer)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Where the streets have no name (u2)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
You alone are god (hillsong)

WHAT SONG WILL BE THE SUBJECT WHEN YOU REPOST?
Happy is a yuppie word (switchfoot)

I’m thinking about renouncing my Australian citizenship, its pretty easy you just fill out a form and hand over some $$$.

I dont really see myself as an aussie, and if i had the choice i dont think i would have become a citizen in the first place. My parents made me a aussie citizen when i was 2 or 3.

I’m scottish and as the years go by i think more about being scottish than australian.

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Wife and I just saw shooter.

It was pretty good, mark whalberg is pretty cool. And best of all it was a movie without sex. Although they replaced the time that could have used for romance with more shooting. Oh and explosions, i love a good explosion.

5/7

B came over for dinner tonight.

We had spaghetti bolognaise and played buzz.

I suck bad at buzz, I have never won a game!

It was almost like having the first date with an online love. Our first proper meeting over a nice meal in a comfy environment. First impressions are good so i think the relationship can continue.

B i’ll see you online.

The day i left for uluru got a phone call from my dad. My Grandma in Scotland died.

didnt know her heaps well, i mean i knew her but being on the other side of the world our relationship wasnt like my me and my nan,

Anyway tomorrow i get to reep the rewards of the kicked bucket.

$$$$$$$$$$$

oh yeah, the problem is i’m running out of cahsed up dying relatives.

you think i’m heartless dont you?

the truth is, it is sad that my G’ma has moved on, buit also i think its probably good in a way casue the last couple of years she had no idea what was going on as dementia had kicked in hard.

TodayI got all measured up for being a groomsmen.

It was a little weird having this man measure all my limbs and neck and feet and stuff. But also fun, i like wearing suits, i have no idea what this suit is going to look like becasue its in brisbane and i’m in sydney, i get measured here then when i arrive in brissie the suit will be there waiting for me.

i’m pretty hot in a suit.

Today wife and I finished off season 3 of ‘Las Vegas’.

Season 4 only just finished on TV in the US so it will be a bit of wait til i can get stuck into season 4.

what series can i get addicted to in the meantime?

have seen an ad on tv today about a canon digital camera wiht ‘face detection’

surely its not real. seems like a crock to me.

Face Detection Technology
Cameras with the DIGIC III image processor have the ability to detect where human faces are located in the shooting frame, even when they fall between auto focus points. Up to 9 human faces on screen are automatically detected and brought into sharp focus. In addition, exposure errors that can leave a subject’s face too dark or too bright can be corrected.

12 hours sleep, oh yeah!

I’m home, I’m tired and i’m ready to take a break from talking to anyone under the age of 18.

in other news the town of ‘Hay” is stupid. Shops in Hay don’t sell 600ml coke. tooke me five shops to get a buddy.

tonight is my last chance for a good sleep for 2 weeks,

the next 2 weeks will be about 6 hours a night if i’m lucky and most nights on a bed roll in the freezing cold nights of the outback.

valarian will be my best friend

Dominos pizza now has a “meat pie” pizza.

On the add it looks absolutely foul!

Weighed myself tonight for the first time in many many months.

70kg

it’s the biggest i have ever been.

I feel like a blimp, the muffin top effect is starting to show.

bring back the days of 54kg.

If it keeps up i’m going to have to start wearing a bra.

Places I shall be visiting over the next 2 weeks.

Hornsby, Orange, Dubbo, Broken Hill, Port Augusta, Coober Pedy, Yulara, Uluru, Kata Tjuta, Kings Canyon, Mildura, Griffith

there is more but that will do.

I’m gonna cover 6,000km in 13 days.