howie’s halfpipe

I was just in vinnies looking for a garment to take to an upcoming bucks party.

There was an old lady behind the counter and in came another old lady. I dont actually know their names buts just say Mavis and Beryl.

this is their conversation

Mavis: Hello i’m just looking for some earings

Beryl: yes all our earing are here under the counter

Mavis: Just clip on ones

Beryl: yes we have clip on ones here, we even have a nipple ring, this one is a nipple ring

Mavis: what a scream, i’m 85 just the clip on’s for me

Beryl: see the nipple ring looks like this

Mavis: what a scream, the young ones of today, they even have penis rings

Beryl: yes they must be just for show though

deary me it was a funny conversation to hear between to little old ladies in a vinnies shop.

Praise the Lord for Akismet.

no spam has made it to my blog since installing akismet.

hahaha this is brilliant!

the ultimate showdonw

thanks bowen

home brand ‘Cocco Puffs’ aree not as good as coco pops

Front: 6/36 is my visual acuity most people have an acuity of 6/6 it means if you can see something from 36m away i have to be 6m away.

Back: speaks for itself really.

divulge

just added a last fm album quilt to the side of my blog.

Its not sitting quite right and i cant figure out why. these embedded things they confuse me a bit.

Anyway the album quilt is cool.

for those of you who have not experienced my new colour scheme you may need to do a proper refresh.

chicken pizza tonight. oh yeah!

(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
() Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man’s Chest
( ) Boondock Saints
(x ) Fight Club
(x ) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
( ) Blazing Saddles
(x ) Airplane

Total: 6

( ) The Princess Bride
(x) Anchorman: The Legend Of Ron Burgundy
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
() Labyrinth
( ) Saw
( ) Saw II
( ) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
(x ) 50 First Dates
( ) The Princess Diaries
( ) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement

Total all together: 9

(x) Scream
() Scream 2
() Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
( ) Scary Movie 2
( ) Scary Movie 3
( ) Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
( ) American Pie 2
( ) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp
( ) American Pie Naked Mile

Total all together: 12

( ) Harry Potter 1
( ) Harry Potter 2
( ) Harry Potter 3
( ) Harry Potter 4
( ) Resident Evil 1
( ) Resident Evil 2
( ) Little Black Book
(x) The Village
(x) Lilo & Stitch

Total all together: 14

(x) Finding Nemo
( ) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
( ) The Grinch
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
( ) White Chicks
(x) Butterfly Effect
( ) 13 Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
( ) Robots

Total all together: 19

(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(x) Universal Soldier
( ) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(x) Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
( ) KingPin
( ) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt
( ) King Kong

Total all together: 25

( ) A Cinderella Story
(x) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
(x) Dumber & Dumberer
( ) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
( ) Halloween
(x) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving Christmas
(x) Flubber

Total all together: 30

( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
( ) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
( ) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
(x) I Am Sam
(x) The Whole Nine Yards
(x) The Whole Ten Yards

Total all together : 34

(x) The Day After Tomorrow
( ) Child’s Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
( ) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
( ) Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
(x) Coach Carter
(x) The Longest Yard
( ) Gridiron Gang
( ) The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask

Total all together: 41

(x) Bad Boys
(x) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
( ) Lucky Number Seven
(x) Ocean’s Eleven
(x) Ocena’s Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremecy
( ) Lone Star
( ) Bedazzled
( ) Predator I
( ) Predator II
( ) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
( ) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George

Total all together: 48

(x) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
(x) ET
( ) Children of the Corn
( ) My Bosses Daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
(x) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
( ) Rush Hour 2

Total all together: 53

( ) Swimfan
(x) Miracle on 34th street
( ) Old School
(x) The Notebook
(x) K-Pax
( ) Krippendorf’s Tribe
(x) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
( ) The 40-year-old-virgin

Total all together: 57

(x ) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
( ) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
( ) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Total all together: 61

(x) BASEketball
( ) Hostel
( ) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
( ) Elf
( ) Highlander
( ) Mothman Prophecies
( ) American History
( ) Three

Total all together:62

( ) The Jackal
( ) Kung Fu Hustle
(x) Full Metal Jacket
( ) Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic
(x)Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(x) Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard

Total all together: 67

( ) High Tension
( ) Club Dread
(x)Hulk
( ) Dawn Of the Dead
(x)Hook
(x)Chronicles Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
( ) 28 days Later
( ) Orgazmo
( ) Phantasm
( ) Waterworld

total all together: 70

(x) Kill Bill vol 1
(x) Kill Bill vol 2
( ) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
( )Kingdom of Heaven
( )The Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
( ) Army of Darkness

Total all together: 72

(x)Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x)starWars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x)Star Wars A New Hope
(x)Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back
(x)starWars Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks the caravan of courage
( ) Ewoks The Battle For Endo

Total all together: 78

(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
(x) Animatrix
( ) Evil Dead
( ) Evil Dead 2
(x) Team America: World Police
(x) Silence of the Lambs
(x) Hannibal
(x) Red Dragon
( ) Anger Management

Total all together: 86

‘Foggy Highway’ - Paul Kelly and the Stormwater Boys

Its such a good album, jenny is getting sick of it casue i play it everyday, but its so good. So easy to listen to.

you should buy it, and if you do get the limitied edition one that comes with a live dvd from the enmore.

I’m going to invent a machine that puts the bins out for me, oh and mows the lawn.

hand washing is a strange thing.

Yougo to the toilet then turn the tap on with your unclean hands, wash them with soap and water. Then you put your clean hand onto the tap that you just touched before with your dirtry hand to turn it off.

crowded house to play at the climate change gig in sydney.

Wife i need some dosh!

your not allowed to wake up late, then go back to bed after your shower and head into work an hour or so late.

Thats one thing i miss from the old days, not being accountable or reliable, actually i used to be reliable, reliably late that is.

the flip side is that i really love my wife.

I have twitter now.

here it is

Its not set up from my mobile yet but hopefuly it will be soon. And when i work ouit how to put the rss feed in a little box on the side of my blog i’ll do that too.

Having asthma is rougher on the wallet than it is on the body.
Every month or so I have to go get 2 new puffers, one that I take once or twice a day depending on my memory and if I can be bothered getting a new puffer, and the other I take as needed, when a wheeze is coming on.

Anyway today was new puffer day.
I went to the chemist and put in my prescription and went off into Westfield to do some other shopping for work. Then on the way back to the office I popped back in to pick up my 2 shiny new puffers. But the dogs only had one of them, they had the preventative that I take every morning but the normal puffer they had none in stock. It’s a good thing I didn’t get all angry and loose my temper, if I lost my temper I may find myself in some heavy breathing and start having an asthma attack. And you wouldn’t want to have an asthma attack in a chemist of all places BECAUSE THEY DON’T HAVE ANY PUFFERS TO HELP YOU NOT DIE!!!!!.

I got over it eventually and on a second attempt at getting my puffer I headed to a different chemist. I walked in there was no one else in the shop, no customers and one lady behind the counter. I handed over my prescription and she said “would you like to wait or come back?” well I don’t want to come back there is no one here so I shouldn’t have to wait. I waited…she put the prescription down on the counter and walked off. Then a man with a tie on came out of a little door and picked up my prescription, he looked at it then put it down and disappeared back through the door.
I’m just sitting in their waiting chairs for my damn puffer, how hard can it be to print of a sticker that has my name on it and then go to the shelf and take off the puffer, wack the sticker on it and make me sign my prescription, take my money and off I go.
Instead I have to sit there for 10 minutes, still with no other customers in the chemist. Eventually the man with the tie comes back out his door picks up my prescription does a bit of typing, prints off a sticker and gets my puffer. Then he puts it all in a little basket and disappears back out his door. I’m ready to leave but the basket with my puffer in it is still on the other side of the counter. Eventually the other person who was working came over looked at the basket then called out “Mr Howie”. What the hell I’m the only person in there, and it looks like ive been the only person all day. You don’t need to call out my name in the hope that through the masses of customers waiting for their puffers I will hear your call and come collect my puffer. I’m THE ONLY FREAKIN PERSON THERE!!!!!. She gets me to sign the thingy then pay and off I go 14 minutes after I walked in.

So I am now qualified to give you a course breakdown of studying to be a Pharmacist at a NSW university.

Of a 4 year degree.

First year – Learning how to type someone’s name into a computer

Second year – Learning how to type a sentence like ‘take once daily’ and then pressing print

Third Year – Reading the name of a drug on the prescription and matching it with the name on the outside of a box on the shelf
(I know third year is pretty in depth, it really separates the committed from those who are just studying this because they didn’t get into a bachelor of arts course)

Fourth Year – Learning how to fill 98% of your day not serving customers

Anyone can comment now!

No need to register, infact you cant register anymore. I finally got around to upgrading my commenting system, so now there should be no spam comments and anyone can comment.

if bums wherent so squishy, sitting down wouldnt be very comfy. I think now that we are manipulating all the DNA and orangs all that technical science stuff we should make a baby that has a bum that extends all the way up the the back to the bottom of the next. Just incase the baby grows up to be homeless, then it could sleep much better on hard conctrete pavements.

is this post a little wrong?