howie’s halfpipe

pressing the ‘demo’ button on a keyboard is great backing music for a sermon

hotel rooms in kenya have horrible acoustics, you can hear the ‘plop’ of bathroom users from your bed

when construcing a staircase it is not important to make all steps an equal size

NO WE ARE STILL NOT AMERICANS

Roundabouts encourage traffic jams

kenyans are extrememly friendly 

When an descision is needed to be made it is important to stand around for a few hours before actually making that descision

never feel like it is too late to ask a white man for money

if you have asthma dont go into a small mud hut if it has smoke coming out of the door, its like sitting inside a giant bong

hot chips are the unofficial dish of kenya

when preaching in kenya if people wave at you, then you are doing well. If they stand up and walk out maybe not so well

when using a shower it it is important to flood the bathroom as much as possible

if you are friendly to passport control officers they may invite themselves to your birthday party

when leaving kenya leave your suit behind so you never have to wear it again

if a kenyan worship song begins to play in a church or on the radio you have enough time to go back home and have a sleep, eat a meal, go for a walk and have another nap before the song will finish

when ordering chicken stew be sure to remove the feathers before consuming

when you order coke make sure you order ‘baridi’ otherwise you will get room temp coke

when you go through passport control at nairobi airport you find yourself transported to a giant waiting lounge of loud americans, with kenyans only present as cleaners and airport staff

the kenyan countryside is a beautiful thing

be creative when naming your business, for example ‘Rich people also cry butchery’