Being young means your unreliable and absent
February 12, 2008 7:57 pm general chit chatHaving two youth related jobs with fancy titles (’Senior youthworker’ and ‘NSW Youth coordinator’) I feel i have the authority to make the following observations.
Young people are getting more and more unreliable as the years go by, and on top of that they have shorter attention spans and less regard and respect for authority and leadership of most forms.
I know its a bit rough if i was to say ‘all’ young people are like this, but boy oh boy its a high percentage.
I get to work with young people in a few different contexts and in a few different roles. One of which is the MC type role. sometimes its for large groups where there can be up to 100 young people and I dont think I have ever manged to speak without at least a handful of young people talking or oblivious to my presense even if i have a microphone. You may say ‘but howie’s thats just casue you are boring and we dont want to listen’ But i see it with everyone who does speaking in front of young people.
I could rant about this for longer and give examples of groups of all different sizes and at all ddifferent types of events but i would like to move on to my next point.
young people are unreliable.
It seems more and more these days that a young person will say ‘I’ll do that’ or ‘I’ll be there’ but then they are a no show. often its becasue a more appealing offer comes up or they just cant be bothered when the moment arrives. Or they get distraced by their xbox or something. Maybe i’m from another planet but when i was younger if i couldnt end up going to something i would ring or find a way of infomring the person that i couldnt come. but these days there is no thought of that.
which brings me to my last point of disregard for authority and respect. It seems young people dont really get into a mindset that their actions can impact others in a posative or negative way. Or if they are aware, they dont really care. Not turning up to something, who cares!
Its all well and good for me to complain about it, but what is the casue of this slide in manners, attention and unreliability. I’m sure media has a part to play and also the higher rate of broken homes and family problems. But I think schools are also to blame. I know some really tops teachers at schools but i’ve also witnessed a lot of what i would see as dodgy ones. Treating young people like pets. A lot of shouting, accusing and being quite parent in how they treat the young people. I think if you spend 6 years in an environment where you are just told what you are doing wrong well ofcourse you are going to start switching off when someone like a teacher starts talking to you.
when i was at school there was this teacher who used to tease me about my eyes and make jokes with me and just chat. I teased him about being gay and old and whatever i could come up with. Its funny casue in his classes i always did pretty well casue we had a relationship not a woot woo relationship but a equal one where he wasnt higher than me or vice cerser.
In other classes i didnt do so weel and often it was the ones where i would get in trouble more or where teachers sore my eyes as a hinderence to their teaching and made me feel like crap.
I think young people lack that sort of posative relationship in their schooling and sometimes its even lacking in youth groups and chruches.
And i think its the casue of wy young people are so absent these days both physically but also emotionally and even spiritually.
prawn :
Date: February 12, 2008 @ 8:47 pm
Very interesting post Howie… is that potentially the longest post you’ve ever written though?
Don’t know if I completely agree with everything 100%… but in saying that, I don’t work with youth as my day job… so I will say that you are in a far better position to make that call.
jenny :
Date: February 12, 2008 @ 9:06 pm
i agree with those statements in general about young peoples attitudes/characteristics. but i think it goes beyond just youth. i think young adults are in many of the same categories. particularly with waiting until the last possible minute to see if something better comes up. RSVPing is not a strong point either.
that being said i’m sure we know some very responsible and respectful young people.
and also, i’m not sure what i think about the teacher bit - i think my experience of high school was pretty different, being a private school. but from what i’ve seen of public school classrooms in recent years, i can definitely see your point.
howie :
Date: February 12, 2008 @ 9:07 pm
It could be close to my longest, it is pretty damn long.
I know i often exaggerate to make a point. so not all young people are like this but i’m noticing it more and more these days. and in temrs of schools and churches and stuff I think it easy for us to get into an authoritivw role and without meaning too look down on young people or be quite blunt. I think christians are pretty bad with it, there is so much looking down on young people in the church. In every church there are superstars who love young people.
When i was a little howie I got kicked out of sunday school and made to stand outside until church was finished. that ruined my view of sunday school and the leaders forever and i’m pretty sure thats the opposite to what Jesus would have done.
anyway i’m ranting and answering questions you didnt even ask
Tom :
Date: February 13, 2008 @ 12:45 am
You sound like an old person.
I can see your point and I don’t necessarily disagree with you. But also being in a position of working with young people for a living I get a little sick of people complaining about them. Often when I tell people my job they have a whinge about why I’m so necessary because Generation Y has no values and is rude. Which annoys the heck out of me. I understand that Gen Y and the dot com-ers (I’ve heard that’s what the ones after Y are called) have their issues. But they’re about as good and bad as any other generation. At least they haven’t started any wars yet.
I guess as a person who works with young people I feel it’s my job to be an advocate for them. Like a parent loves their kid with a fierce and blind commitment. Because if I don’t think they’re wonderful, who will?
And I do think they’re wonderful! They seem to care more about the issues of the world than the immediate generations before them, they’re more likely to believe they can make a difference. Young people these days don’t give institutional respect but they give relational respect which means that if old people want to be respected they have to work for it. Which is fine by me. Young people these days can sniff out BS a mile off. Young people may not be able to concentrate for long, but they make every minute count.
I know you love young people. I just figure we have enough people giving them a bad wrap. We lovers of the youth need to be clearly on their side. Otherwise everyone will just think they’re a bunch of Corey Delaney’s. And even he’s not that bad, he’s just acting like a silly 16 year old. And people have been turning 16 for about as long as people have been existing. At least as far as I can tell.
howie :
Date: February 13, 2008 @ 10:43 am
yeah i do seem a bit like a grumpy old man in this post. the truth is i do love young people and hanging out with young peoples is the best, seeing them grow, being part of their spiritual journey its all amazing stuff. I dont think you could be a full time volunteer working with young people if you dont like young people.
I love young people and i like to think that i’d lay down my life for them. young peoples are amazing and often oldies dont always see that. I guess i’ was just voiceing and observation i’ve made.
I could rant for much longer about the great and beautiful things in young people but that would be quite unaustralian of me. Its much easier to talk about the not so great stuff
Tom :
Date: February 13, 2008 @ 11:28 am
I thought you might think that. Good on us!
I assume this post arrived after no one turned up to your meeting?
howie :
Date: February 13, 2008 @ 11:42 am
nah the meeting was more for parents.
I was just thinking about it all.
Tom :
Date: February 13, 2008 @ 12:26 pm
Bloody parents. No values at all!
Dave :
Date: February 13, 2008 @ 1:53 pm
As an old person I say, “Here, here!” and “Bravo!” and “Encore!” and other such things which express general agreement. I also say things like, “Where did I leave my keys?” and “I’m sorry I’ve forgotten your name?”. Seriously though I lead youth groups in various forms for about 15 years and even in that relatively short time I have seen things get worse.
b :
Date: February 13, 2008 @ 6:04 pm
Young people today are no different to those of other generations - the technology and freedom they are offered is different but as people they are the same.
My time working with Youth finished in 2002 - I started in about 1991. But not cos youth sucked it was just that I changed and more fundamentally God removed my passion and vision for working with them.
I agree with all of you - except prawn - who is normally very passionately against negative stories about youth. Maybe he is just feeling old.
In the end the youth of today are being given the same bad & good wrap I was given when I was youth and youth were given at the start of the 90’s.
We were told we were more savvy than ever before, could see through falsehood, were more passionate and aware than any other generation, were given too much without having to fight for it, were never on time, were disrespectful to authority, these are issues of youthfulness, I think, rather than generational differences. In fact if I recall the baby boomers had some of the same accusations thrown at them by their WWII parents.
As for youth today being better at seeing through things - I think the marketing of today shows that youth are as much conned by advertising if not more so than any other. So often these “new” things are just old things repackaged and people lap them up without a second thought.
There is good and bad in all generations - and young people are the most open and willing to change people I have met - note I said most willing to change - they still hate it and will fight against it - but they usually end up giving it a go and switching from the most passionately against something to the most passionately for it.
In the end, young people are trying to work out who they are as individuals - and that means experimentation and pushing boundaries - they are able to be irresponsible and so they are - but when it comes to making decisions and sticking to them - the parents of youth are just as bad with most people deciding at the last minute to do what suits them - but on the other hand youth can be so totally committed and sold out and giving and …
well they can be good and bad.
I love youth - and still do - I hate that people are so suspicious of them - and are scared off by the facade of prickliness that young people can use to protect their insecurities - I have never yet found that it wasn’t worth the effort to try and get past that wall and to meet the young person behind it - sometimes I have failed to get behind that wall - but that is my loss and i am saddened by it.
It was good to hear a but of the other half of the heart of Howie.
In the end we must look at them - and all people and ask - how can I draw them closer to God and what has God given them that is for me and will teach me more about God.
Ty :
Date: February 17, 2008 @ 9:59 pm
I just think this one deserves a comment Howie coz it was such an in-depth post. But I think I agree with Tom and your thoughts after. When you work with youth you love their spontaneity and their life. You love that they don’t just follow authority structures. And all those things drive you mental sometimes, so sometimes you need to vent.
I never thought I’d be a youth worker, but here I am 7 years later, loving it, loving them, despite the issues. I have found it helpful to ask questions really clearly and clarify whether yes really means yes. This has actually worked for me. And how boring are old people anyway?