howie’s halfpipe

After reading keith’s blog post this morning about his and stellas great bicycle adventures, I decided to find my helmet and ride to the french’s to hang out with hannah. I haven’t ridden a bike in years and since last riding a bike i have added just a few kilos to my load.

Anyway it’s a 5km each way trip, a good start i think, and there are quite a few hills along the way.

I found my pump, helmet, repair kit and lights and went down to the old bike that looks like its just come out of an archaeological dig, covered in dust and dinasour bones.

I realsied one of my lights had a broken bracket and as i would be riding home in the dark i set about mending it, with some hardcore glue and rubber bands to hold it in place.

My first hurdle was the driveway, i made it to the top of the driveway which is at least 5 metres long and my legs where jelly already. So the rest of the trip varied in speed acording to how saw my extremely unfit body was or how collapsed my lungs felt due to asthma.

I stopped in at the office to be greated by an ice cold 600ml coke which sure did help me get over that last 500 metres from the office to the french’s.

It was then that i could have a 5 hour break before the return journey.

Hannah and I did some jumping on the trampoline which was fun casue i couldnt really feel my legs, added a whole new level of fun to jumping.

I took my rubberband braced light out of my bag to see how the glue was going. It was doing well pretty solid, infact it was so solid that in trying to put the light back on the bracket i snapped the bracket, this time in a place that couldnt be fixed with rubber bands.

I spent about 20 minutes rigging up a light bracket out of gaffer tape and attached it to my backpack.

then when the time came i was ready, no cars where going to hit me, and if the did hit me my gaffer tape brace would have kept my $2 ebay light safe.

The problem with riding home was that the French’e live halfway down the world’s steepest hill. so to start my ride home i had to ride up the hill of death.

I did it, i didnt want to walk up it casue you look like a pansy if you are pushing a bike up a hill.

I got to the top with only a mostly deadly asthma attack brewing in my lungs, and i’m pretty sure i left my legs at the bottom of the hill somewhere. I cruised pretty slowly alongv after that, alsmot dying to death when i hit a stick i didnt see in the darkness. I’ve worked out that bad eye sight mixed with darkeness and asthma are a bad combo. anyway the stick let me off with a one foot on the ground slide maneuver.

I had a drink and breathe break at normanhurst before powering up the last few hills narrowly missing some smug pedestrian who was using the footpath for walking.

I made it home in once piece and will probably never ride my bike ever ever again.