On Monday afternoon i had the worst experience in my whole life. At the time i thought it was only the second worst.

My Uncle offered me a coke and then returned with a glass of what i thought was coke. I took a sip and quikly realised this was not coke. I thought it was probably diet coke. I drank it very slowly indeed, dreading each sip.

Yesterday i went for a wander around town to pick up some real coke for myself. I bought a 6 pack of cans and returnede to the house to stock the fridge. Then i nearly fainted and had a heart attack, stroke, aneurysm and severe case of nausea. IT WAS BLOODY DIET PEPSI!!!!!!

How can someone offer you a coke and then proceed to fill a glass with that watery dishcarge.

I’m now booking myself into an expensive detox centre in the hollywood hills to get that crap out of my system.

While I’m on the whinging trail cans of cke are only 330ml and buddies 500mls.

McFlurreys only come in 2 flavours and neither are oreo. The spoon only just fits through the hole in the top of the lid too. And the just mix it up with the spoon, no machine!

Once i’ve been discharged from the detox centre i’m off to a farming equiptment specialist to find a machine that will remove the springe from my back that have embeded themselves from several nights sleeping on sofa beds. Stupiud damn sofa beds, they arnt beds they are paper thin matresses stretched across a frame of barbed wire.

I would complain about the weather too but its been warm and sunny ever day since we have been here. Bloody weather, this isnt real Scotlant.

On a more serious note it’s been good haning with the fmaily, immediate and extended.