the howie

I ran out of Metamucil and while you don’t care, this could be explode into a sloppy ending for me. Metamucil changed my life. I have IBS as a lot of you would know and when Metamucil came into my life I became a new man. I run like clock work and it all holds together like cookie dough…mmm cookie dough, probably not the best analogy to use seeing as i love eating cookie dough..oh well.

So I needed to go get some more and also some rolls for my lunch tomorrow.

So off to Westie I went.

I noticed some clouds creeping up behind me.

Being Me I didn’t take an umbrella.

I did my shopping in woolies and also picked up some discounted hot cross buns, good thing you can buy them now for Easter because they stay fresh for at least a day.

I then went in search of an umbrella in woolies.

Fail.

So off to 24Hr Kmart I went.

I looked around hoping to find a rack covered in umbrellas but found nothing. After a while i went to the front desk to ask. The lady said “Yeah we have them, just head towards women’s underwear” .

So off i went down the wide path towards ladies dainties.  I passed a rack with sunglasses, then handbags, then to my left was ladies clothes and right undies. Surely the umbrellas are close to this centre path. I kept walking up and down the path a few times.

then i found them. They where down to one side of a very narrow isle in the middle of bright pink g-strings and D-cups. I had to go look though, but what if someone walks past, from behind it would look like i was looking at pink g-strings not umbrellas. So it had to be a stealth operation. I power walked into the isle and decided to grab the first umbrella then get out of there.

The first umbrellas was leopard skin patterned.

I had to stay longer, I couldn’t walk out of the g-string isle with a leopard skin umbrella.

Eventually I found a nice masculine black umbrella.

Don’t men use umbrellas anymore?

It was a good thing i managed to get that umbrella.

I walked home in the rain, mostly dry.

I also walked past a take away shop where a man was standing outside stuffing money into his shoe.

Don’t men use wallets anymore?