the howie

I’m running a weekend long simulation this weekend called ‘Slum Survivor’ at a local Church.

It involves living in a slum for the entire weekend and only eating 2 meals a day of rice and dhal.

Plus a whole bunch of challenges throughout the weekend. Because I’m running it i’m the Slum lord and it’s my job to dish out pain and discomfort and also collect money from the participants as they earn enough money to survive in the slum.

It’s a pretty full on experience for those taking part.

Anyway today I spend the morning mixing spices and powders together to make the dhal and some chai mix.

After inhaling all the smells of an Indian spice shop I loaded up the rickshaw with a bunch of stuff, heshen sacks., banners, and a big box full of hammers and gloves and plastic.

Jenny helped me push the rickshaw up the hill, as it has no gears and weighs more than 5 Americans.

So we pushed and pushed. Sweat was dripping down behind my sunnies and if my shirt was white i would have won the national wet t-shirt comp.

We made it to the top of the hill so jenny bialed and i got on for some pedaling.

I pedaled along the pacific highway (on the footpath) which was nice and flat, lots of people staring at me and one lady telling me i had a very pretty bike.

Eventually i got to the street that has the church on it and it’s downhill. So down i went with the rickshaw breaks squeaking like a late pubescent teenage boys voice box.Then i remembered the church has a friggen steep driveway.

I got to the bottom of the driveway and hopped off. I began pushing very very slowly taking millions of steps ans there is no room between the pedals and the back seat of the rickshaw to take big manly steps. It was hard hard pushing. Not being able to see behind me I had no idea there was a massive line of cars creeping behind me trying to get up the driveway to a funeral.

I had to stop halfway up in a little flatter bit to refill my lungs and squeeze out my shoes form all the sweat dripping down. It was at this moment I realised there was a long line of cars, what could i do?  I tried to pull over as much as i could and a few cars went past. I got going again when the driveway was clear. Stage 2 of the steep driveway was underway, just as i began stage 2 another bunch of cars appeared behind me. And there was people everywhere all dressed in suits and fancy dresses watching this sweaty man push a overloaded rickshaw up a steep driveway. I’m sure they where angry at me for interrupting their funeral car parking.

Eventually i made it to the top and found a spot in the corner to park the rickshaw. I walked home with jelly legs and a salty face.