With all these new state government transport overhauls, well that’s what hey call it. Really it’s just the same old ticket but now it’s printed on yellow, red or blue paper and we all know how that is a great design tool. It just radiates professionalism, just like in primary school when your teacher would add some flare to a comprehension work sheet by adding a clipart image of a frog and printing it on yellow paper.

Anyway with all these new state government transport overhauls I got thinking, what would sydney transport be like if there was a rewards program just like airlines.

How it would work:

For every dollar you spend on tickets you get 1 point.
points can be redeemed in the online rewards store for items like.

• 150 points = one glossy brochure highlighting the governments plans for an underground metro line connecting Dubbo to Coffs Harbour

• 200 points = one packet of hospital grade antibacterial disposable gloves for using when holding onto train and bus poles.

• 350 points = one packet of paper disposable hygienic seat covers for use on trains buses and ferries

• 500 points = one weeks access to an exclusive restricted website containing accurate timetable information

• 650 points = one disposable can of pepper spray

• 800 points = one battery operated pocket sized translator for decoding PA announcements (batteries not included)

• 1000 points = one inflatable life jacket for use on all modes of transport

The Brown Club

If you spend more than a certain amount in a year and travel over a certain amount of km’s you can apply to become a member of the exclusive ‘Brown Club’.
Brown members can access certain perks across the transport network that are highlighted below.

• Exclusive Seating – Brown club members can enjoy an exclusive seat on all trains, buses and ferries, club members simply follow the brown line on the floor inside the door straight to their exclusive seating area which is also situated in the used syringe exclusion zone. The seats are clean(ish) with reduced amounts of graffiti (excluding trains and buses) and come complete with a free copy of yesterdays MX newspaper folded down beside the seat.

• Exclusive waiting areas at stations, bus stops and wharfs – This dedicated waiting area is on every platform, wharf and bus stop and is clearly marked by a small concrete square on the ground. (indicating where rubbish bins once existed)

• The Brown Lounge – The brown lounge is the ultimate indulgence for club members. All major transport hubs have the Brown Lounge perfectly placed in between the male and female toilets made famous buy their warm blue fluorescent glow. Inside the lounge members will find the latest in lino flooring, orange vinyl covered chairs and classic laminated tables. To keep you entertained there is a 30cm television mounted on the wall showing repeats of the Kerri-Ann Kennelly show 24 hours a day and to quench your thirst there is a tap is conveniently placed next to the brevvile sandwich press.

Brown members also receive the highest level of customer service available from staff.

• when boarding a bus the driver will replace the usual snort with a grunt

• When boarding a ferry the first mate will put in his false teeth so the welcome aboard smile is less intimidating

• Train guards will shout ‘sorry’ when they see you running for the closing doors of a train.

What do you think?