In a lot of us there is a bit of of rebel, a bit of middle finger to authority. Some people like to stick it to the man by chaining themselves to tractors, launching themselves at politicians or blocking coal ships with their babies. Me I’m a bit of a closet naughty boy, I’m not one for breaking the law. But don’t worry I have compiled a list below of how I stick it to the man. You will read it and think, wow Howie is hardcore….

• On empty escalators sometimes I stand on the right hand side, stuff you non existent people who want to overtake on the right
• In my office building lifts I press the ‘close doors’ button if I see people who have been smoking wanting to get in!!
• Sometimes I start walking across a road when the red man stars flashing, I think the image of a man flashing you is supposed to put you off approaching, Stuff him!!!!!
• On flights I fart freely thanks to the drone of the engine drowning out any rumbles I may create
• I try to never offer to pay after someone has said “don’t worry Howie I’ll get this”, sometimes offering can end up in you paying
•  sometimes when I wee I aim for that little duck thing hanging down, stuff you lavender scented duck I don’t want my wee to smell like an old lady!!!!