Archive for July, 2010
iHug
I know at some stage boys don’t want to be affectionate with their fathers anymore. I assume it will come in the mid primary school years. for Oscar it seems to have come at 19 months.
Often I ask for little hugs, this morning it went like this.
Me: Hey Oscar can I have a little hug?
Oscar: No No No
Me: oh
Then I did what parents are probably not supposed to do. But it worked so I don’t care.
Me: Hey Oscar if you give me a hug you can play with my iPhone
Oscar: Dah (means yah or yes)
then I received a hug and in return he got to play with my iPhone for a minute or less.
poo fountain
I turned up at work this morning to find raw sewage flowing down onto the footpath from the first floor of my work building.
it didn’t smell nice.
I went back down 20 mins later and it was still flowing. People in this building must go to the toilet a lot, not me, I find the toilets scary.
let the children come, actually on second thoughts….
A Parable written by Mike Dicker from Salt Youth
There were some there who wanted to stop the boats of refugees coming in Australia so Jesus told them this parable:
Jesus said “There was once an orphanage that housed many children. Some orphans would find a new family in a new place if they went through the official adoption process that took many years.”
Jesus continued “One day the orphanage came under new management by evil men. One night the new managers set fire to the orphanage saying ‘we will destroy the building, kill the children and rebuild’. And there was a great and terrible fire. That night the children tried to flee the flames and seek shelter with a new family in a new place. Many children perished but some managed to escape and reached a new place of shelter that was open and spacious with many empty rooms, but the people who lived in that place said to themselves ‘Who are all these children? They have not come to us through the official adoption process. Surely they will fill up our empty rooms and spacious grounds! We must turn them back from here and ill treat them that they may warn others not to come to our land.’
So the people of that place turned some of the children around and sent them back into the fire where they perished. Others they locked in small cages for many years before also sending them back into the great fire where they too perished.”Those standing near by were outraged by this and said “Teacher, why tell us this parable? This is a terrible and monstrous act! May the Lord bring judgment upon those wicked men and the people of that land for this injustice!”
Jesus said “Truly I tell you, you are the people of that land! You brood of vipers, you evil snakes! You enjoy this spacious land with many empty rooms!”
If you like this parable why not email it to Tony.Abbott.MP@aph.gov.au and Julia.Gillard.MP@aph.gov.au
move forward
freebies
I have 2 free tickets to ‘inception’
valid at Hoyts, Greater Union, Village, EVENT, Reading, Palace, Wallis, Dendy, AMC, Ace, Grand, ………….
who wants them?
no skateboarding but natural disasters are fine.
Today we decided to go on a family outing to the beaches, the noobs came a long too.
We went to some park at some beach that didn’t have any shops. What’s the point of going to the beach if you can’t get hot chips????
Anyway we went to some park and Oscar had fun walking around and playing with his aunty and uncle. He spent a lot of time just staring at other people, maybe living on the north shore is bad for him, he looks down on the bogans from the beaches.
I have to admit it was a pretty good park even if there was no hot chip access, but it was a strange park.
At one end of the park was this sign.
As you can see the bottom left shows all the prohibited activities in the park, the bottom right shows all the permitted activities.
It is the second permitted activity that got my attention.
After receiving a low pressure system for his birthday, Little johnny has been complaining to his parents that he has nowhere to play with it. But on a recent trip to the beach his parents found a nice park tucked away from the temptations of hot chips where Johnny could unleash his minor sized natural disasters.
or is minor flooding just a result of lots and lots of little kids in one place?
Welcome to Anal DVD, how can I help you.
With that title you may think I’m about to talk abut the latest scandal involving a politician and a nightclub, but I’m not.
Jenny and I are both anal when it comes to filing of DVD’s and CD’s.
For me this is not a new thing that is a result of being married.
When I lived with Tom and his family Tom and I used to regularly spend time arranging the household CD’s into alphabetical order, After a while Tom’s mum even went and purchased special CD drawers to aid the tidy and appropriate storage of music.
The system worked well, It was always a cinch to find the CD you where looking fo, well I say always actually it wasn’t always so easy. Sometimes people who where not trained or people who had issues with the authoritarian natures of the CD placement would come and visit. Mainly Gem and Mil.
After the above named had visited it was then the task of myself and Tom to search through the carnage and rearrange into the appropriate and acceptable order. Until we discovered that after these visits this was not the only abomination, not only where CD’s out of order but CD’s where not in their respective case. So if I was searching for powderfinger internationalis, I would find the case and open it only to discover Luke Vasella instead.
They where traumatic times.
Now several years later I married a lady that shares my passion for alphabetised bliss.
Tonight we embarked a new journey together, We not only have our DVD’s in order but we now have them in 4 different categories too.
The categories are
- Films
- TV Shows
- Stand Up
- Music
It was a special time we shared together tonight.
Bliss
Want to sit down for a coffee?
I promise not to make all my posts youtube clips
iggy
chimp on a segway
8 years of this crap….when will it end?
It is 8 years since I started this blog,
2,998 posts
4,844 comments
24,454 blocked spam comments
135 posts containing the word ‘poo’
136,357 unique visitors from 175 countries
239,327 page views
and a lot of blabbing on about nothing interesting.
I made a new banner to celebrate.
the boat people will keep floating
I don’t understand this focus on the people smugglers.
As long as there is conflict there will be refugees, as long as there is refugees there will be people smugglers.
Sinking people smugglers won’t stop people wanting to escape their horrific situations and find refuge in a safer environment where they can raise their children in peace.
What Captain Ranga and first Mate Abbot are proposing is basically refugees are not welcome, if you have risked your life, fled from war, poverty, death ,in the hope of gaining access to Australia you have made the wrong choice, we only like rich Asian people who can be doctors and engineers.
I don’t understand why we need to keep our aid at a distance, we are happy to hand out the monies overseas but not happy to take a personal role in helping those in need if they knock on our door.
Gillard and Abbot you both disappoint me on this one.
parent enters parents room….outrage!!!
Being Sunday again, it was time for a father son adventure.
Last Sunday Oscar and I went to Manly on the ferry, today we went to darling harbour, or asOscar called it ‘Hubba”.
To break up the journey a bit we caught 2 trains, first an all stations train, then an express into Central.
As we pulled out of our station Oscar noticed all the lights on the platform were on so he raised his pointing finger and told me about every single one of them as we went past. “on on on on on on on on on on on on on on on on on on on on on on on on on on on on on on on on on”. Bloody cityrail, turn your lights off I’m going insane here!!!
We walked down to Darling Harbour from Central and on arrival discovered that Darling Harobour has been transformed for the world cup FIFA fest and all we could see was orange fences. no park, no view just orange FIFA fences. so that was a bit dumb, but the dumbness continues..
Oscar had been drinking water pretty much the whole trip in, I think saying ‘on’ so much had dehidrated the poor little guy. Anyway i figured his nappy would be close to overflowing so needed to find a parents room to re-pant him. We eventually made it through the maze of orange fences to that shopping centre. Inside I followed the amenities signs to the parents room. After dodging tourists buying stuffed koalas and harbour bridge snow globes for a few hundred metres the signs disappeared, now they just had toilets and no mention of a parents room. I back tracked but still couldn’t find them.
I decided to try the next level up, maybe the signage up there would be more helpful, It wasn’t.
I found the parents room after much sweating and walking fast. And it definitely said ‘Parents Room’ not ‘Mothers Room’. I’m paranoid about that sort of thing so I read the sign on the door several times before entering.
I pushed the door open and Oscar’s pram around the tight corner but then it bumped into another pram, there was a lady sitting in a chair with her baby on her lap. I tried to get Oscar’s pram past but there wasn’t enough room unless she moved her pram a little. She didn’t so i gently moved it a bit to get Oscars past. Then the woman spoke.
“this room is not for men its for mothers only”
I cam up with the following response:
Excuse me? But this is a parents room, And I am a parent, my son has been filling his nappy with urine for the last couple of hours, and my wife is at home because i’m spending son quality time with my son, we have come into this room to change his nappy in a suitable environment so we don’t offend people by whipping out his bits and pieces on a food court table or bus stop seat. I really hope he has a juicy poo in his nappy, actually I don’t hope he has a juicy poo in his nappy because that will make me nauseous. I hope he has a reasonably sized solid poo that on release from the nappy fills the room with such a stench that you pass out and then while you are passed out I can put his poo filled nappy in your handbag!!
But what came out of my mouth was a little more sedated “Oh sorry, I’m just going to change my son’s nappy”
Which I did, he had a little bit of poo but it didn’t smell too bad and she didn’t pass out so i had to just put it in the supplied nappy bin!
On the way out I had to move her pram again so Oscar and I could leave.
I thought Oscar might enjoy going on the monorail, he is still young enough to think the monorail is a fun little train on sticks, not a useless, expensive, adult sized toy that doesn’t take you anywhere helpful.
So we went to the monofail station and waited for one to come, one came and Oscar called it ‘bubba’ I think because it’s like a little train and he calls all little things bubba, like in his bath he has toy turtles and the little one he calls bubba.
Anyway the first bubba came but there was no room for us and the pram, the second one came, same thing, the third one came, same again. who would have thought the monorail would be full???
the 4th one pulled in and a man in one of the carriages saw that Me and Oscar wanted to get in, so he came and grabbed the front of the pram and pulled it into the monorail, he then told his kids to get up so i could sit down. I tried to convince him I was happy standing but he insisted, So I sat and Oscar had a grand time.
On the train on the way home from our city adventure Oscar dropped a seriously bad fart, at first I thought it was funny so I laughed, and he laughed too. But after 10 minutes it was apparent it was not just some friendly fire, he had dropped a bomb.
I’m not making it up when I say that people moved away, I thought maybe they where just getting off, and they did get off, but then back on again in the next carriage.
Eventually we made it to our home station and headed for the lift, a man that was sitting near us earlier in the journey but later moved was standing at the lift too, when he saw us, he for some reason turned and took the stairs instead.
The lift ride was short, but it felt like a long time in that gas chamber.
We arrived home just in time for jenny to change his nappy before dinner!