We have lived in this house for 5 years and only tonight Jenny informs me there is a brazier under the house!

After we put the son to bed I headed off (in the cold and up the big hill….I’m amazing) in the direction of Westfield to get some heat beads.

Tonight was fire night!!!!!!

I walked my usual way to Westfield, went inside and down the escalator turning to walk towards the supermarket. Just after turning after getting off the escalator a security guard walked in front of me and said “Hey, what’s your problem” I was a bit confused and said ‘Huh”. “where are you going?” I said to the supermarket.

He then came much closer to me and as asked why I punched the door on my way in… I was super confused and said I didn’t punch anything, he said that I had been seen punching the door and asked again why I punched it. I told him how I walked in to the centre down the escalator and then met him.

He went on to tell me that not only did I punch the door but I also had an altercation with a female.

I denied.

He then picked up his radio and rattled off some ‘code numbers’. Which on reflection probably translate to “This security badge has inflated my ego beyond control”.

anyway literally 10 seconds later another security guard appeared and confirmed that it was me who punched the door and had the altercation.

What the hell????

I explained that I walked here alone, I walked in the door, no altercations, no punching and heading straight to woolies.

No response, they both looked at each other.

I don’t know why but I have never been a big fan of authority, or in this case perceived authority. I ended the awkward silence and stares by turning and walking off saying “I’m going to the supermarket”. After a few steps the security guy said ‘whatever, don’t worry about it”. That was it.

I bought my heat beads, and headed home.

Walking home 3 police cars passed me. They didn’t pop a cap in my ass.

Bloody weird? Maybe I matched a description but the second security guard who apparently saw me committing the acts probably needs to visit one of the many optometrists in the centre.

The fire was awesome. Now I’m warmed up I’ll go back to Westfield and punch their door.


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