howie’s halfpipe

Every morning I am awoken ealry by the sound of 50,000 birds in the tree outside my window, 67,000 barking yapping dogs over the fence and 47,000 screaming child persons.

Due to the tight law type restrictions in our fine country, it seems i would get in trouble if i was to chop down all the trees so birds would have no where to sit, thus dying a painful ‘no place to sit death’. And I would also get in trouble if i was to remove the barking components of the neighbours dogs, sop that they would die a slow “painful but extrememly quiet death”. and as if our laws wherent strict enough I would get in the most trouble i was to just shoot the kids over the fence. I mean it wouldnt be in cold blood or anything, the little turds deserve it! and they could die a “i’m a an anoying 7 year old who will no longer keep my neaighbours awake death”

Stupid country not allowed to do anything!

well i have come up with a solution.

In recent times there has been a lot of talk about pedestrian crossing safety. Especially in regard to kiddies being hit by cars on crossings.
Well this is a serious issue and i think something needs to be done about it.
But its not the only issue that crops up at pedestrian crossings. I dont like being in crowds of people who all have umbrellas and are all trying to cross the road, you get bits of umbrella in your eye and water dripping off everyones umbrellas all over your backpack. Its a dangerous nightmare. Well i have come up with the solution. its called the
“howies invention that stops kids getting squished and umbrellas in the eye”

when the traffic lights are green for the cars the big flaps are down blocking access to the crossing by pedestrians, hence eliminating the risk of kiddies running out into traffic whilst also providing a rain free environment mean umbrellas can be safely stowed away in people bags or better still left at home.

when the lights go red for the cars. the flaps lift up and form a roof across the street using the howie patented “whinchy thing that uses cables and a little motor”.
here is an artists impression using the latest in 3D modeling.

as I was walking to work this morning in my own little world listening to the counting crows, a car tooted at me then pulled over next to me. A man shouted out to me so i went over to the car. He asked me if i knew how to get to tamworth from here, and due to my extensive knowledge of the new england area i was able to assist him. Off he went on his way.
Tamworth is about a 6 hour drive from hornsby, crazy normalyy you as for directios when you are 2 streets away from your destination but just cant find it.

anyway i kept walking along the footpath to work and then a few minutes later another car pulled over next to me and this time it was a man and his kid wanting to get to hornsby pool.
That was more like it! i told him and then off he drove too.

I think i might set up a booth on the side of the road, and give people directions.

I just put my hand on the screen and traced around it in microsoft paint. the whole thing in one line. the mouse at jennys house isnt very good so its a bit jerky but fun none the less.

Bono : “Howie get up here and give me a hug”

Howie: “I’m coming Bono”

Bono: “That bevis frined of yours must be so jealous right now, are we still on for lunch in the foodcourt tomorrow?”

Howie: “We sure are Bono and dont forget you owe me a coke”

A.M is a super hero not to be messed with, his powers are out of this world.
Acronym man is faster than A.S.A.P
More reliable than D.I.Y
More intelligent than A.S.I.O
Brighter than an L.E.D

Acronym man is P.H.A.T
he will make you R.O.F.L
he can wipe out the enemy with his B.O
and whisk you away for a nice romantic weekend at a B.n.B to catch up on some much needed R.n.R.

Oh A.M come and save me.

this post was brought you by B.Y.O imagination a sub division of thehowie.net

Or is it something more cunning?

Lat last night a block of units on Epping road in Lane Cove began to sink into the ground. residents were shocked to see a large hole appear around the units and the building slowly began to sink. Fire fighters were forced to break down doors to evacuate sleeping residents. The giant hole which caused havoc with Sydney’s peak our traffic today has been linked to the construction of the “Lane Cove tunnel” project. The opposition is want a full enquiry into the disaster calling it ‘Another Sydney tunnel mistake”. But thehowie.net reporters have this special insight into the late night disaster.
Apparently the disappearing unit block is linked to terrorism,. The PM today announced that there was a ASIO intelligence stating that there are plans for a terrorist attack on Sydney and that the new terror laws will be rushed through Parliament later tonight. ASIO has been monitoring terrorist activity on Australian shores and in expected to reveal in a press conference tomorrow that the Lane Cove unit incident is a result of Terrorism. It is believed that due to uncontrollable population grown in mainland china that the Chinese government has been forced to acquire residential dwellings from out side the borders. Just to keep up with the growth and demand for domestic housing. The Chinese Government has been digging through the earth to Australia and acquiring houses late at night using advanced tunnelling and acquisition technology.
ASIO is expected to release a security development plan in the next few weeks to help reduce the risk of more dwellings disappearing underground.
The Chinese Government has declined to comment.

drawn by justine

i like pictures. Paint is such a top quality graphics program.