howie’s halfpipe

Dear Beth,

You haven’t commented on my blog for while.

Love,
Howie

Tom and I just made a podcast. And boy oh boy is it dodgy, we did no planning we have music and we had no idea what we were going to talk about. Its not intended to offend anyone and i want to stress that it really is dodgy.

but hey if you’re bored at work and have nothing else to do then feel free to listen. its about twenty minutes long and may take a while to load.

“the podcast”

all complaints should be addressed to customerserviceautomatedreply@thehowie.net

that is all.

plese still be my friend

Ladies and Gentlemen please go to the kitchen and pop into the toaster 2 bits of fresh bread. And join me in toasting Scott and Bec on the announcment of their engagment to each other.

aint love grand.

Well played Scott and Bec.

If this post doenst warrent me an invite to the wedding then its all over, i’ll tell her scott, i’ll tell her the truth.

Happy Birthday Anmol.

Happy valentines day to you all.

And a very happy Valentines day to you jenny. I like you.

All funnies aside I do wish you a very happy birthday Tom, I think you’re the bomb! hope you have a great day.

happy birthday jo french

If you have no plans for New Years Eve.

Why not come join us at observitory Hill.

In the city for a night of fun on the grass.

Hello everyone isn’t it good to reach this time of year again. A time where we come together and pretend we like each other, a time where the world stands still whilst parents convince their children that a fat man will climb down our chimneys and deliver gifts. A time where repetitive annoying songs invade the airwaves. A time where turkey is considered “a special treat”, when really it has the texture of a chicken but the flavour of a car tire.
Christmas is upon us.

The true meaning of Christmas has disappeared and been replaced by a fat man who watches you all year and somehow knows if you have been naughty or nice. He hangs out in shopping centres and lets you sit on his knee if you hand over $10 and get a photo.

Oh tis the season to be jolly.

As we sit in our homes and our relatives homes this Christmas it is important that we do not forget the dangerous world we live in. As john Howard tells us we need to be Alert, not Alarmed.
Therefore the theme of Christmas this year should obviously be terrorism. As we sit around singing carols and exchanging holeproof hero socks we must also be alert. Whilst most people in the house are eating Christmas pudding and riding their new bikes around the living room it is important to have at least one person standing on your roof with an anti aircraft missile ready to fire. Not that anything is going to happen but we need to be Alert and ready.
It would be a sad day if on the 6 o’clock news we see stories of families who have been wiped out by terrorism due to a lack of precaution. The Christmas road toll is bad enough.
Be smart this Christmas and be ALERT.

Here are some handy tips I have come up with to help you get through Christmas.

1. Christmas cake tastes ok if you first burn your mouth with boiling water.
2. Don’t wear socks during the gift opening, this way you don’t embarrass your mother by getting a new pair of socks that you already have.
3. think in the back of your mind that once you make it through the day there is 365 days until you have to go through it again.
4. To minimise family disputes pretend you have lost your voice and don’t get involved in any conversations
5. wear 7 pairs of underpants to pad the impact when your grandfather keeps patting you on the bum and saying “you cheeky mug”
6. Don’t buy your mother weight watchers cook books
7. Eat lots during Christmas lunch so you need to retreat and lay down.

As Christmas only comes but once a year it is important to play it right. To play it safe and to lye low.

welcome home india boy

crossing live to gossip central come in howie.

yes i’m standing here in the middle of gossip central with some exciting news.
Robert howie and Jenny Gower are now an item.

Reporting live.

Robert Howie
BBC News

Well, here I am. I’m Tom and I thought it might be fun to drop in to say “G’day”.

What you see above is an exclusive photo of me with a moustache. It is the first ever released photo of my extended nasal hair taken at 7am on Tuesday morning. I think my mo makes me look sleazy, and my I say that I shaved it off about 10 minutes after the photo was taken.

Please don’t think I usually pose like that for photos. I look like a knob.

Is it rude to say “knob”?

I figure that Howie doesn’t usually talk theology on his blog so maybe I should spout a few Bible references around and talk about sanctification and pre-destination. I can show my biblical prowess and hope that people are impressed.

I have noticed that theological training isn’t really attractive to the ladies. I don’t think it’s really unattractive either. Perhaps it seems boring to some, but I don’t think anyone is all that impressed. I was told tonight that to attract women you need eye contact. “Damn!” I thought “All this time I’ve been impressing them with Bible quotes and I should have been just looking at them in the eyes.” I’ll tell ya, Bible college fees are a lot of money to pay just to impress the women. I should have gotten a car. I hear they impress women.

I mean what woman wouldn’t get excited by a machine that looks nice, goes fast, and is painted shiny red? It’s just like good finger nails but on a larger scale. I wonder how many guys find long finger nails attractive? I tend to find them a little scary myself. I’d rather keep away from sharp objects. Women are scary enough, but women with sharp pointy things on the ends of their digits… Yikes!

I’m running a “Love Advice” segment in church on Sunday night, so I guess I’m just warming up. I don’t really know much about the whole love thing, but I have learnt this: While giving a Mars bar to the object of your affection may be a nice gesture, giving half a Mars bar is just kinda gross.

And a bit embarrassing too I’ve realised. Like when they tell you that the caramel went all over their pillow while the chocolate melted waiting for them to come and find it.

Anyway, I think I’ll be off now. It has been fun visiting. Howie is a magical man, and it’s nice to play a small part in his magical blog.

Ryan and I have embarked on what seems to be quite a hard mission.

We have decided to stop being so Cynical for one month. To do this everytime we make a cynical coment we need to give a charity that we are normaly cynical towards 50 cents for each coment. We will kep a tally on a special website ryan is making and you can watch our progress.

My charity that i am awfully cynical towards is “World Vision”
And ryan has chosen “Fusion”

We are calling it: “OPERATION BETTER PEOPLE”

We began at 6:15pm and the tally at the moment stands at 19 cynbical comments by ryan meaning Fusion is getting $9.50 and I made 13 cynical comments meaning World Vision is getting $6.50

The challenge:

Drive as far away from hornsby as possible and be back in hornsby by 10am tomorrow.

The time: 12:30am

The team:

Tom, David, Helen, Howie

bloody hell, i’m tired already.

(sorry jen)

come young and old, meet at hornsby station at 7pm, split into teams, see how far your team can journey on the cityrail network, being back at hornsby station at 10:15pm. Documenting your trip with a digital camera and a group purchase at your destination.

email for more details and to register…

you can printo out the ticket too.

No I’m not engaged.
No I’m not married.
No jo isn’t pregnant.
But yes jo and I do have a joint fly buys account as of today.