The wheels on the porcelain bus go bleh bleh bleh, bleh bleh bleh, bleh bleh bleh,

The wheels on the porcelain bus go bleh bleh bleh all out my mouth

IBS is a dog

Well it’s official. I’m a tough guy.

Just went to visit my Doctor to see if he could tell me what’s going on with my sore ribs.

I went in and told him the story of the Melbourne train that bit me. He asked me to take my shirt off and lay on his bed. I told him which ribs hurt so he started to push around with his fingers on all the other ribs. Then he began to push on the ribs that are sore.

As he pushed down it hurt quite a lot, but what was most disturbing was the crunching sound that came from my chest as he pushed down. He then declared that i had at least one broken rib and could feel another one moving a bit so probably 2. It gave him shivers up his spine when his he felt the crunching, he thanked me for the experience.

He also said i’m pretty tough as broken ribs hurt a lot.

So there you go, my first ever broken bones.

Now all I have to do is wait a month or so for it to heal itself. No heavy lifting or strenuous activities. If it’s still hurting the same amount in a week or so I need an x-ray.

I’ll have to try and see if i can get out of any work events. “Oh my rib hurts I can’t do that, I’ll have to just stay home”

Oh and thanks to the doc pushing around and producing the crunching noise it does seem to hurt a bit more now than it did before

the last few days have comprised of headaches,  doctor visit, blood test, throwing up, back door explosions, coughing, lack of sleep, more headaches, more throwing up, laying down, sitting, laying down, sitting.

I haven’t even had a coke for 3 days.

I really hope tomorrow is better

Last night I went to bed with a bit of an upset tummy, nothing unusual for me. But then I couldn’t get to sleep and I was sweating like a pig, in the end I got to sleep at around 5:30am. After going to bed at 11:30pm. It was a crap night. Then when my alarm went off at 8:01am I sure didn’t feel like going to work. My insides where still churning away and i was exhausted.

I took the day off work and went back to sleep for a few hours, then spent the rest of the day sitting in my chair.

Now it’s night time again and my insides are having another rumble, the joys of my bowels. Stupid IBS

So I went to the doctor today and only had to wait 1 hour. It reall was a ‘waiting’ room today.

My Asthma has been having a party the last few weeks and becasue of my lack of caring I have just let it. I have been taking my daily preventative medication but the old ‘if you have a wheeze’ puffer ran out a while ago so I’ve had a constant wheeze for the last week or so.

This gets on jenny’s nerves, she thinks i’m going to die. I think it’s kind of cool I could end up like the penguin in toy story. But becasue I love my wife and I’m totally under thunb I went to the doctor. He measured things and listened to things then decided it was time for some hardcore astham steroids as well as 2 differnet puffers.

So for the next 9 days i’m going to be on the roids, I’m pretty sure they will make me buff and by mid next week i’ll start looking like Rambo. they may help my lungs too.

in the past 24 hours i seem to have picked up a nasty little stomach bug.

I feel like a giant tube. If you blew in my mouth I would make a similar noise to a didgeridoo.

hows the mental picture?

I guess I should blog about Fridays removal of my wisdom teeth.

It began a bit before 2 heading out to westmead hospital. Did the pre admission thing, filling out forms, signing here, signing there. Then the next 3 hours where spent sitting in chairs waiting to be called.

My op was supposed to be at 2:30pm it ended up being at 5:15pm

before i was given a bed and a very fetching gown with no back the anesthetist came and spoke to me telling me how he was going to put me to sleep and the dangers involved. He didnt sell himself very well, he told me that i would probably wake up and vomit and feel nauseous and in worst case i could have serious heart problems.

Eventually i was wheeled away on my bed towards the operating room, they parked me in this little bay and began jabbing me with needles, then 2 big doors opened and in i wen to the operating theatre. There was a lot of people in the operating theatre and over in the corner was my surgeon he was bust rubbing his arms, maybe part of some ritual he has before removing peoples wisdom, got warm up his muscles.

Anyway i had to shift onto the operating table bed thing and then i was gassed first with asthma medication then with the proper gas stuff once, i felt myself drifting off and everything was a bit blurry but i was by no means asleep. I was a bit concerned that they thought i was out but i wasnt really so i began looking around and moving my head a bit. they must have picked up on this because the mask appeared over my mouth again, and that mt friends was that.

Next thing you know i’m slowly waking up, the odd violent shake of my arms and a very cold feeling it was freaking cold in there. anyway i was still half under  but could tell i was really busting to wee. I couldnt really see anything nor speak but i somehow managed to mumble loud enough that a nurse hear my plea for bladder relief. She came over and very violently removed my underwear and grabbed on to you know what and put it into the top of a jug. she then said “go” so i did and boy oh boy the relief was nice. well it was nice until she chucked the little guy back into the undies with no regard for comfort or dignity.

after a while i become more and more awake and aware that i needed to wee again, so i had to call again. A different nurse came and was very friendly she decided that i was awake enough to go myself, she handed me a jug and left closing the curtain behind her. She didnt come back for sometime and in that time i had managed to use the jug twice filling it almost to the top. I have never wee’d so much in my life. when she came she was shocked at how full the jug was and told me they must have pumped 2 bags of fluids into my arm during the operation.

After an hour or so i was moved in a big old man lounge chair (close to a toilet which i used another 2 times) before going home with wife a bit before 10pm.

all in all it was quite an experience, and i’m still feeling a bit of pain from it.

stupid wisdom teeth.

the surgeon came and saw me and said that it was quite a challenging op and that they had to shatter one of my bottom wisdom teeth to get it out.

the tooth fairy seems to have grown impatient, instead of waiting for teeth to be left the fairy has resorted to yanking teeth out herself.

tomorrow i’m off to hospital for all 4 of my wisdom teeth are being yanked out with a chainsaw or something.

praise the Lord for general anesthetic

I bought new pants to take to kenya in august casue i didnt fit my old pants, i now dont fit th new pants.

Today we where at kirri and tims wedding and all day and night i was in pain from the tightness around my waist.

before marriage i was around 60kg give or take.

right now  75kg

oh yeah! 15kg of pure fat!

about to go to the dentist man again.

poop

well just home from my frist dental experience in 10 years.

my teeth are fine and dandy!

although one of my wsdom tooths is growing into the side of another tooth so i probably have to get the wise ones out.

but round 1 $200
round 2 involves an x-ray and maybe wisdom removal.

In a moment of weakness the other day wife asked me if she could book me a dentist appointment. I said ‘yes’

she has asked me many times and my normal answer is no but for some reason i wasn’t thinking, i didn’t stand firm as the man of the house and exercise my authority, i caved in.

I haven’t been to a dentist for about 10 years. And now I’m off to one this afternoon.

stupid dentists

Gotta go get another shot in my arm this afternoon. The second installment of the Hep A + B imunisation.

My arm still isnt functioning properly from the shots i got a month ago. Maybe i’ll tell them today that my arm has been sore for a month. I feels like a muscle has been strained or torn or something.

Weighed myself tonight for the first time in many many months.

70kg

it’s the biggest i have ever been.

I feel like a blimp, the muffin top effect is starting to show.

bring back the days of 54kg.

If it keeps up i’m going to have to start wearing a bra.

Welcome to the season of colds and coughs.

My head is full of snot, whihcis quite unpleasent. On the upside I do get to eat strepsils and i love a good strepsil or 50.

i’ve ben feeling a bit sick today, stomach aches and the like.

with stomach aches seem to come the most wrong flatuence known to man. So potent that smells seem to linger for quite some time after their release.

My office chair seems to think its a good idea to store a portion of these explosions, mmm stinky chair. hope it doesnt still smell tomorrow.

It seems that the good run of healh has come to a hault. Today i felt quite sick all day nausia, and rumbles in my bowels. a few releases of pressure, not totally unformed but not solid either.

shame, i really dont enjoy being sick.

Over 5 hours where spent at the hospital today for a 10 minute procedure.
Today was my cystoscopy, the final test to see if there was anything wrong inside my bladder. I have to say reading about the procedure on the internet didn’t excite me and I wasn’t really looking forward to today.
I wont go in to nitty gritty on the blog, but lets just say that all I had was a bit of local anaesthetic in the form of gel not a needle. And that the camera itself seemed much larger than I had expected.
I tell you what I would hate to know what it feels like not to have the gel because it hurt quite a lot. And right now its not all hunky dorey either still in quite a lot of pain.
My goodness me I was violated. There where about 5 people in the operating room all female and all looking at my bits laying there out for everyone to see..

oh and the results i got straight away, bladder seems all fine so it was just some freak infection.