happy happy joy joy

the body 2 Comments

in the past 24 hours i seem to have picked up a nasty little stomach bug.

I feel like a giant tube. If you blew in my mouth I would make a similar noise to a didgeridoo.

hows the mental picture?

peeing in a jug

the body 1 Comment

I guess I should blog about Fridays removal of my wisdom teeth.

It began a bit before 2 heading out to westmead hospital. Did the pre admission thing, filling out forms, signing here, signing there. Then the next 3 hours where spent sitting in chairs waiting to be called.

My op was supposed to be at 2:30pm it ended up being at 5:15pm

before i was given a bed and a very fetching gown with no back the anesthetist came and spoke to me telling me how he was going to put me to sleep and the dangers involved. He didnt sell himself very well, he told me that i would probably wake up and vomit and feel nauseous and in worst case i could have serious heart problems.

Eventually i was wheeled away on my bed towards the operating room, they parked me in this little bay and began jabbing me with needles, then 2 big doors opened and in i wen to the operating theatre. There was a lot of people in the operating theatre and over in the corner was my surgeon he was bust rubbing his arms, maybe part of some ritual he has before removing peoples wisdom, got warm up his muscles.

Anyway i had to shift onto the operating table bed thing and then i was gassed first with asthma medication then with the proper gas stuff once, i felt myself drifting off and everything was a bit blurry but i was by no means asleep. I was a bit concerned that they thought i was out but i wasnt really so i began looking around and moving my head a bit. they must have picked up on this because the mask appeared over my mouth again, and that mt friends was that.

Next thing you know i’m slowly waking up, the odd violent shake of my arms and a very cold feeling it was freaking cold in there. anyway i was still half under  but could tell i was really busting to wee. I couldnt really see anything nor speak but i somehow managed to mumble loud enough that a nurse hear my plea for bladder relief. She came over and very violently removed my underwear and grabbed on to you know what and put it into the top of a jug. she then said “go” so i did and boy oh boy the relief was nice. well it was nice until she chucked the little guy back into the undies with no regard for comfort or dignity.

after a while i become more and more awake and aware that i needed to wee again, so i had to call again. A different nurse came and was very friendly she decided that i was awake enough to go myself, she handed me a jug and left closing the curtain behind her. She didnt come back for sometime and in that time i had managed to use the jug twice filling it almost to the top. I have never wee’d so much in my life. when she came she was shocked at how full the jug was and told me they must have pumped 2 bags of fluids into my arm during the operation.

After an hour or so i was moved in a big old man lounge chair (close to a toilet which i used another 2 times) before going home with wife a bit before 10pm.

all in all it was quite an experience, and i’m still feeling a bit of pain from it.

stupid wisdom teeth.

the surgeon came and saw me and said that it was quite a challenging op and that they had to shatter one of my bottom wisdom teeth to get it out.

friggen tooth fairy is getting desperate

the body 2 Comments

the tooth fairy seems to have grown impatient, instead of waiting for teeth to be left the fairy has resorted to yanking teeth out herself.

tomorrow i’m off to hospital for all 4 of my wisdom teeth are being yanked out with a chainsaw or something.

praise the Lord for general anesthetic

fatty man

the body 1 Comment

I bought new pants to take to kenya in august casue i didnt fit my old pants, i now dont fit th new pants.

Today we where at kirri and tims wedding and all day and night i was in pain from the tightness around my waist.

before marriage i was around 60kg give or take.

right now  75kg

oh yeah! 15kg of pure fat!

the floss nazi

the body 3 Comments

about to go to the dentist man again.

poop

sweet tooth

the body 3 Comments

well just home from my frist dental experience in 10 years.

my teeth are fine and dandy!

although one of my wsdom tooths is growing into the side of another tooth so i probably have to get the wise ones out.

but round 1 $200
round 2 involves an x-ray and maybe wisdom removal.

tooth hurty..actually its at 4:30

the body No Comments

In a moment of weakness the other day wife asked me if she could book me a dentist appointment. I said ‘yes’

she has asked me many times and my normal answer is no but for some reason i wasn’t thinking, i didn’t stand firm as the man of the house and exercise my authority, i caved in.

I haven’t been to a dentist for about 10 years. And now I’m off to one this afternoon.

stupid dentists

jab No.2

the body No Comments

Gotta go get another shot in my arm this afternoon. The second installment of the Hep A + B imunisation.

My arm still isnt functioning properly from the shots i got a month ago. Maybe i’ll tell them today that my arm has been sore for a month. I feels like a muscle has been strained or torn or something.

 

twice the man I used to be

the body 6 Comments

Weighed myself tonight for the first time in many many months.

70kg

it’s the biggest i have ever been.

I feel like a blimp, the muffin top effect is starting to show.

bring back the days of 54kg.

If it keeps up i’m going to have to start wearing a bra.

snot face

the body No Comments

Welcome to the season of colds and coughs.

My head is full of snot, whihcis quite unpleasent. On the upside I do get to eat strepsils and i love a good strepsil or 50.

awards and explosions

the body, general chit chat 1 Comment

Last night I went to a local business awards night, I’m noot really sure why I said yes to going, i didnt know anyone, i’m not good at starting conversations with people i dont know. Anyway it was an interesting experience lots of business people getting awards then trying to sell their business in a short acceptance speech. The night had some quality powerpoint displays.

We didint win the award we where nominated for!

towards the end of the evening i started feeling quite ill, you know sudden cold sweats, sore stomach, it all resulted in me making a rather fast b-line to the bathrom where all hell broke out in the bowl. And then again when i got home.

today i woke up quite sore on my insides and some discomfort, so far no more expolisons,.

Arnt you all excited that you got to read that?

the office chair with a mushroom cloud

the body No Comments

i’ve ben feeling a bit sick today, stomach aches and the like.

with stomach aches seem to come the most wrong flatuence known to man. So potent that smells seem to linger for quite some time after their release.

My office chair seems to think its a good idea to store a portion of these explosions, mmm stinky chair. hope it doesnt still smell tomorrow.

humph!

the body No Comments

It seems that the good run of healh has come to a hault. Today i felt quite sick all day nausia, and rumbles in my bowels. a few releases of pressure, not totally unformed but not solid either.

shame, i really dont enjoy being sick.

operation violation

the body 3 Comments

Over 5 hours where spent at the hospital today for a 10 minute procedure.
Today was my cystoscopy, the final test to see if there was anything wrong inside my bladder. I have to say reading about the procedure on the internet didn’t excite me and I wasn’t really looking forward to today.
I wont go in to nitty gritty on the blog, but lets just say that all I had was a bit of local anaesthetic in the form of gel not a needle. And that the camera itself seemed much larger than I had expected.
I tell you what I would hate to know what it feels like not to have the gel because it hurt quite a lot. And right now its not all hunky dorey either still in quite a lot of pain.
My goodness me I was violated. There where about 5 people in the operating room all female and all looking at my bits laying there out for everyone to see..

oh and the results i got straight away, bladder seems all fine so it was just some freak infection.

test 1

the body, general chit chat 1 Comment

Today was the first of my two tests to see what the hell is wrong with my bladder / kidneys.

Today was the IVP which was at Concord hospital and took about an hour. It was really quite a breeze. I just laid on a table for an hour while an x-ray machine took lots of photos.
The x-ray lady was crazy she was always singing and seemed to be plotting many pranks against her collegues.
After a few x-rays she called in a nurse to put in of those things into my arm, not a needle but like a little plastic thing that the needle will eventually plug in to. Anyway the nurse was crazy, she was very rushed and managed to make me bleed quite a lot. So much so that they had to get me a new blanket casue she had got so much blood on my original blanket. All just from trying to jab a little plastic thing into my arm.

Eventually a doctor came and then injected some clear stuff into the thign in my arm.

Then more x-rays, a wee then some more x-rays and that was that.

The clear stuff they injected was some kind of dye that is picked up on x-rays all a bit fun.

But no pain and best of all I was able to stay in my boxers and shirt, no nudie for hoiwe.

The next test it a nudie one. grrrrr

V for Violation

the body 6 Comments

Well I just went to the urologist.

I was nurvous and rightly so i would say, i have never been so violated in my life.

I wont go into details but listen to this sentance from the urologist lady as i was laying half naked on her bed thing.

“Ok now roll onto your side and bring you knee’s up to your chest”

I tell you what, i hope i never run in to this lady in a supermarket.

As a side note for those of you who are actually wondering what the urologiost said in terms of my infections. I need to go and get an IVP and also cystoscopy . both of these procedures will be carried out at concord hospital sometime in the next 3 - 4 weeks. I have a perscription for more antibiotics in case the infection flares up while i’m at uluru in a week or so.

It’s a Woman!

the body 4 Comments

Well as you may know on wednesday i’m off to a urologist who will hopefuly be able to work out whats wrong with my bladder and kidneys.

Today i found out its a Woman,

I have to drop my pants for some woman i’ve never met before…….Ih dear i’m scared.

“Mr Howie please drop, turn and cough!”

yay!

the body 5 Comments

Well guess who should make an appearance at 3 am this morning.

None other than howies trusty bladder infection.

It’s back, bigger and better than ever. Infact not a lot of sleeping occurred last night as I was releasing my bladder about every 45 minutes, with that pain filled stinging feeling. But to make it more exciting this time the release was followed by a very painful appearance of that red stuff we like to call blood.

All in all it was a bad night, a painful night and a long night.

This morning it was back to the doctor, he tested my wee and confirmed the infection was back. Gave some more antibiotics and referred me to a urologist.

He told me to call the urologist and make an appointment and if I couldn’t get one in the next two weeks to call my doctors secretary and she will use her connections to get me in sooner.

Well I called and the first available appointment they have is in June. So I called my doctor back and his secretary tried her connections.
She managed to get me one on the 12th of April.
Which still isn’t within the next two weeks and is also 4 days before I’m going away to uluru for 2 weeks. And I don’t really want to go to uluru with the threat of another infection popping up at the drop of a hat. And what if he wasn’t to do more test but then I’m away.

So I called the secretary back and she talked to my doctor and they found out that there is a urology conference on in the next week or so in Sydney so all urology places are pretty booked up.

Well now I have an appointment with a urologist on the 5th of April. Thank you for trying so hard Mrs. Secretary lady.

And that my friends is that.

Oh and I threw up this morning aswell.

Have a nice day

will it all ever end

the body No Comments

another day, another visit to the doctor.
My bladder infection has come back, the antibiots had kicked it it was gone then a week later, BANG there it is again.
So more peeing into a cup today, Doctor says its defintly back and thats not great. Going for an Ultrasound on wednesday morning.

stupid damn broken body.

last ngiht i woke up about once every hour with sharp pains and stinging, then it was off to the tiolet to release my bladder.

6 weeks and another chapter

the body 3 Comments

Well it has almost been six weeks of being sick and slowly but gradually i was improving.
That was, until yesterday!
New pains and uncomfortableness topped with a really sore back.
A restless night and a few heat packs then it was off to the doctor again this morning. My doctor is getting very used to me visiting him, if i didnt have to pay him $45 every time we hung out i could develope a good friendship with him.

Anyway the verdict is i have a bladder infection, which i can tell you is not very pleasant and quite painful.
So he gave me some antibiotis and sent a sample off the the lab for more testing.

I was quite scared about going to him becasue of the location of the pain and the effects of the pain i was scared that this visit to the doctor could be quite confronting for me. That he was going to tell me to drop the pants and turn and cough.
But luckily all i had to do was go into the toilet and pee into a jar.

and that is that, if its just a normal bladder infection is should be cleared in a day or 2 thanks to the tablets but i need to go back on friday for the results of the full test he is doing.
And my back he reckons is just some muscular thing, panadol and heat packs.

yay

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